“What is the most I can do for Me?”
There’s only 4 days left to the 4th month of this year. The next 8 months will go by in a blink. Let’s pause and think “What is the most I can do for me?” in 2013?
What is the price you’re willing to pay to achieve your dream? What dreams do you have? A dream body? A job with a salary you’ve been dreaming about? A life you have occasionally dreamed for yourself?
Whatever it is, today the question that’s coming to me in the middle of the afternoon is, “What is the most I can do for Me?”
It’s a Saturday. I want to be anywhere but home!
But I’ve made a wish. One of which is making X amount in a month so the writing jobs keep pouring in and I’ve said YES to them all and this is the price I have to pay… As usual, I booked a flight to Procrastination instead!
To be honest, I’m thoroughly enjoying the detour.
All afternoon, it’s like I hopped on a crazy tuk-tuk ride, whisked to all the gem spots hidden in plain sight. I’ve been here many times. It’s like my own secret garden but each time it feels different. Especially today…
…that’s when I counted. 31 Days… 4 weeks 3 Days to be exact, since the Inception of the Idea for a future project. That got me a little curious.
How is a baby like at 4 weeks?
“At this point the baby is developing the structures that will eventually form his face and neck. The heart and blood vessels continue to develop. And the lungs, stomach, and liver start to develop. A home pregnancy test would show positive.” – Development at 4 weeks, WebMD.
In other words, I spent the whole afternoon home alone, grounded, researching my idea. Throughout this process, I am aware of the discomfort I am struggling with, too. Always at the back of my mind, I am thinking of so and so, aching for more time with friends, missing so and so and feeling the pain of this and that. I crave for the comfort of a distraction! But a talk I was listening to on Friday came back to mind:
“Are you willing to pay the price? You’ve got to be willing to pay the price… The beautiful thing about Sacrifice… Sacrifice isn’t losing, Sacrifice is gaining… Sacrifice is giving up something of a lower nature to receive something of a higher nature… You see what you’re doing is you’re making a space for the good that you desire…” – Bob Proctor.
As my Idea develops by the days and weeks and months, one of the price I must be willing to pay eventually, is to leave my comfort zone.
“It’s nice to get a paycheque every month,” my friend pointed out.
“I’ve always been freelancing the past 4 years, so I’ve always been earning. And now I’m still freelancing on top of my regular job. So It’s nice to get a double income on top of my regular income…”
But there and then, I knew that he had called my bluff. My defence only made it clearly so. After living without the security of a regular income for 4 years, it IS nice, getting a regular pay every month. It IS easy money.
It feels like I’ve been on a working holiday but the days of fun are quickly drawing to an end. My eyes have been set on a bigger prize, and the way there, is not easy. I’ve signed on for the adventure that it promises to be–the challenges and obstacles to overcome and the greater reward it holds. The question is, am I willing to sacrifice and pay the price?
I guess that’s why out of the blue, something a friend said, came back to mind. “That is the most I can do for you.”
But I am hearing it in a different way today. When I wanted to distract myself with food, but chose not to, I heard, “That is the most I can do for you.” By choosing not to binge, that is the most I can do for myself.
I wanted to make plans to go out. By choosing to commit to a deadline and finishing a work I’ve promised to hand in, that is the most I can do for myself–and my client. I felt tempted to message a possible admirer. By choosing not to use someone as an emotional crutch or for attention even when it’s offered willingly, that is the most I can do for me–and him.
By choosing to pay the price… that is the most I can do for me… for you.
I guess this is another way to “Love your neighbour, AS YOURSELF.”
It begins with Me. “What is the most I can do for Me?”
ps: It’s only after finishing this post that it became clear why this song was ringing in my head all day. It’s from the Korean drama “That Winter The Wind Blows.” I’m now at this episode where it’s getting more and more evident that the guy is willing to sacrifice his reputation and forsake an easy way out for The Reason worth living and dying for. He’s no angel. But he’s now willing to pay the price…
*Sunday Update: I love how this question “What is the most I can do for me?” is taking me forward. I’m finally doing something MORE about the pain from a weak core! Just discovered an awesome Pilates based core workout on youtube by Kristy Lee Wilson, a Cirque du Soleil Performer and Personal Trainer. Can’t wait to get a mat on Monday to try it out!
What’s the most you have done for yourself this weekend? I’m sure you’re worth it!
Care to share?
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb
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