Can you tend to your questions like a green bean experiment?
Lay it out on soft cottons of patience? Watering it daily with hope and prayers, while allowing it plenty of room to breathe, even as you invite the Light of the Answer to shine on your seed?
Or do you—like I used to do and sometimes still do—drown the question in a flood of noise and bury it deeper still, beneath the layers of fear?
On the flight back home from my 3rd Silent Retreat in the land of the flying lanterns, I took out a pen and wrote across the palm of my hand,
Living, Loving The Question.
It’s a reminder to me, even as I’m growing to appreciate the value of living the question. Going a step further, these days I actually hug the question to sleep, so I can hear the heart behind the hitting questions.
“Notice what you notice” as we recently learned in the retreat, from Sheila Pritchard, author of ‘The Lost Art of Meditation’.
From one leaping squirrel of thought to the next tree of contemplation.
To a butterfly of questions fleeting quietly by, in ones, twos or threes.
Over and over again, I am learning, the answers are within the questions.
To place this little reflection into a firmer context, I want to share a little something I wrote to my friend a month back, but is still just as relevant:
All is not well in my world…
and yet, it is well. A paradox.
Several monsters came crashing into my world, all at the same time. Took a while to wrap my head and heart around it all.
I’ve not met someone who preys on human kindness before–but now that I have… I have no words to describe how I feel at the moment.
(But then I go on to describe those feelings as best as I can.)
At first it was shocking, then disgusting, and then disappointing, followed by anger. But then later, a sickening sense of fear took over. Now, it’s just kinda sad that a person would go through so much manipulation and deception to spin a web of lies to get what could’ve been given freely.
Before I was done dealing with that monster, another old one reared its ugly head. (This monster, is even more disturbing than the first!) I was really in the dark… as to what should / could be done about it all.
As I was seeking for Direction, one morning, the answer came in a familiar question.
“What would Love do?”
This time, I’m feeling so much resistance to this question.
“What Love would do?” is the hardest thing to do of all.
And yet, it is also the easiest.
It requires no force, no resistance, “no doing” in the sense that nothing can be done that has not been done… it only requires a new level of surrender… to what has to Be.
And what has to Be, will not be pleasant or easy.
Confronting the truth and reality of things rarely is.
But I read something today that is so apt and true.
“This interior integration and healing of the soul is our aim. But it can’t happen if we avoid the pain and tensions within us. Once, when my counselor and I were discussing Joseph Campbell’s captivating dictum “Follow your bliss,” he commented, “It may be just as important to follow your agony.”
Perhaps we can’t find our real bliss until we begin to confront our agony.” – Sue Monk Kidd
Follow your agony.
What would Love do.
Kind of the same thing.
End of cut and paste. Now I will add to that,
Living, Loving The Question.
It’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it?
To live and wait with the question can be an agonising experience, but as we Let Go and Let God, allow plenty of Son-Light in, growing stronger in Faith, Hope and Love, we’ll begin to realise it’s the loving thing to do.
Fear works the opposite. It drives you to kill the questions that were meant to be the seeds for growth.
Love on the other hand, sees the questions through and allows it to live and find its way into the light. Quietly, expectantly, hope-fully.
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb
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