Self-Love Means, I Will Not Betray Myself For Love Or Break The Promises I Make To Myself – My Actions Will Align With My Values And Beliefs

Have you ever considered this radical idea, that the worst betrayals you’ve ever experienced, are those which you are solely responsible for?

That instead of being ‘The Betrayed’,  you’ve switched roles to ‘The Betrayer’?

It’s an unsettling thought, but it can be a powerful one if you’re ready for it to release you from the role of the victim, to grow into the victor. One way to do that is to face the darkness within you as your own ‘victimizer’.

What do I mean by this?

Let me begin by asking: Have you ever broken promises you’ve made to yourself? Chances are, you’d answer yes–I know I have, all the time.

So how does that make you feel about yourself? Speaking for me–not too great to be honest. I want to be a ‘man of my word’ kind of person.

I want others to be able to trust in me.

But first, I must be able to trust myself.

Can I love myself enough to honour my values and beliefs?

The first time I came to see myself as ‘The Betrayer’ is during my last Silent Retreat, 3 months ago. It’s beautiful how, when our minds and hearts are clear of distraction and our focus is on the One, everything else becomes clearer. Deep, hidden things you never knew about yourself starts to come up to the surface, sometimes in a dream in the night.

I woke up one morning feeling especially disturbed.

This recurring dream is a painful one that I loathe. Not only do I have to deal with having unwanted people in my dream, always, he’s unhappy.

This time, we are meeting at a cafe, and I was there to say my goodbye.

But in the distance, I could see that she was coming right up to our table. In all my previous dream, that would be my cue to leave. This time, it was different. I wanted to fight for what used to be rightfully mine–but wasn’t anymore. So this time, I held on to him, not with my hands, but with my leg, under the table, clinging on with such intensity, I was awakened.

Anger rocked through my body at the break of dawn.

The feelings of injustice, and the pain of having to relive a betrayal over and over again felt like a searing hot wound that’s been ripped open for the millionth time. What a nightmare.

But then, as I stayed in bed, wondering the reason WHY I’m having these dreams, the Light of Truth came shining through, quietly and gently…

…Pointing me to see from a different perspective, I saw for the first time, how in my time of pain and need for love, I was willing to be the shadow figure, doing things ‘under the table’ to regain what I’d already lost…

…The wrong way. The dishonest way.

I saw, to my shock, The Betrayer, in me.

That stank. I felt disgusted with myself.

Truth Hurts. But It Sets You Free!

Being able to see myself as no different from the ones I felt who have wronged me, and coming in touch with the ugliness that is also a part of me, was humbling to say the least.

It led me to the greater miracle of forgiveness: Letting Go.

Something happened that day. It was as if, my inner cries of betrayal was hushed to a peaceful calm within, after having seen myself in the mirror.

I never again, had those recurring nightmare.

In awakening to The Betrayer that is in me,

I am able to forgive The Betrayer in others. 

I am able to see the pain and fear that led me down that path, and am once again reminded of the pain and fear that led them down that path.

I can choose not to betray myself for ‘love’ or break promises I make to myself. I can choose to align my actions with my values and beliefs.

Of course, I don’t always walk the talk–sometimes I’m not even trying!

But Self-Love means, accepting the fact that I’m human, being wise enough to learn from my own mistakes, and being grateful for another day of learning  to Love and to Forgive–both myself and others.

The desire is already there within you, to be Honourable. It’s inbuilt into your conscience to be Trustworthy. The idea is to keep practicing what you say you believe in. It’ll be a challenging workout–but it gets easier. 😉

“Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously.” – Jason Mraz




“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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KONY 2012: State Propaganda for a New Generation | The Vigilant Citizen

"We are living in a new world" indeed. The KONY 2012 logo aptly represents how a viral video and social media can reverse the propaganda model. Don't be fooled however. Power is still not in the hands of the base of the pyramid ... far from it. It is all about appearances.

The overnight viral sensation KONY 2012 brought worldwide awareness to the African war criminal Joseph Kony. Beneath this commendable cause, lies however an elaborate agenda that is presented in the video in a very manipulative way. We’ll look at the agenda behind KONY 2012 and how it uses reverse psychology to not only justify a military operation in Africa, but to actually have people demand it.” –

Read Full Article Here On This Link: KONY 2012: State Propaganda for a New Generation | The Vigilant Citizen

“KONY 2012 is a movement backed by some of the world’s most powerful entities and has precise goals. As the movie’s intro states, it is an experiment. It is an opportunity to create a movement that can be fully trackable, quantifiable and manageable through social media whose culmination is a U.S. military intervention in Uganda…

…a cleverly orchestrated campaign specifically aimed at today’s youth, the future citizens of the world. Using state-of-the-art techniques and new technologies, the campaign is a first attempt at “reverse propaganda”, where the agenda APPEARS to emanate from the people.

By using emotions, irrational thoughts and superficial explanations, KONY 2012 attempts to trick well-meaning people, who desire to make a positive change in the world, to instead fuel a gigantic war machine that is controlled by the world’s elite.” –

Ants Are Not The Problem–Clean Up Your Act

As I was writing, I glanced up and saw the bowl I’d used for lunch, filled with tiny, red ants, working hard to excavate what’s left of it.

What to do?

Grab a tissue paper, gently sweep them out of the bowl and on to the ledge outside the window–then bring my bowl to the sink of course!

So okay.

In the past, the quick and easy thing I would do, is bring the bowl to the sink, drown the ants out in water, kill off the rest who are clinging for dear life with dish washing soap and wash them all down the sink hole!

But my attitude towards the lil’ creatures have changed for the better.

I do believe now, with all my heart, that ants are not the problem.

If anything, they’re doing us a favour, showing us where we’ve made a mess, while cleaning up the crumbs we’ve so carelessly left behind.

Which got me thinking…

…In life, when people come up to our pile of dirt, point to it and set about the task of reminding us to clean our act up, it’s so easy to react in fear, burn them with our harsh words and flush them all down the sink hole.

We don’t want to be reminded that we’re a hot mess.

We don’t want to see a bigger crowd gathering around it.

We think the problem is the ants–when it’s really ourselves.

In the first place, if you kept clean–the ants wouldn’t be there.

Of course, there’s the choice of moving about the fork in the bowl to scare the ants away. But that seemingly lesser of two evils, is another lazy choice that will leave some ants crushed beyond repair–and dead.

Go the way of gentleness. Don’t relegate the blame to the ants.

Leave them out of your bowl when cleaning your act up, please.





“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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Life’s Like A Basket Of Amedei Chocolates…

“Do you want to look inside? They’ve got some amazing chocolates,” I said to Annie, on our way out from Delicious cafe.

We met for her 30th Birthday celebration and were presently walking past its specialty grocery store.

She responded with a why not, and we went in. She’s not heard of the ridiculously expensive Amedei chocolates before, so I took her to that section–and found Lindt chocolates instead.

“What happened to the Amedeis?” I asked the manager, while paying for the tub of Royal White Riestling ice cream (it was so bad and so not worth the 40 bucks–more than half the tub still sits in the freezer!).

“The management has changed, and downsizing, including the inventories. Today, is in fact my last day.”

“Oh that’s too bad… I was just telling my friend about the Amedei chocolates. She hasn’t seen it,” I said.

“I think I might still have some of them back here…” he says, and heads off into the store room.

He’s got gorgeous eyes, and huge tattoos on his arms. I couldn’t tell from his accent, where in Europe he’s from.

When he came back, he placed a whole basket full of Amedei chocolates in front of me. “Here, take what you like. I was gonna chuck it in the bin anyway,”

“Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe it.

“Yea. Some have passed expiration date, but it’s still okay if you don’t mind it,”

I picked up the black box of 1 CRU with 12 Napolitans. “That’s what I got my friend the last time, and he says it’s really good.”

I don’t really believe in spending so much on chocolates–not for myself anyway. So I’ve not actually tried it. I do know, from what I hear, that it’s nice, and that the Amedei Porcelena is said to be ‘the most expensive chocolate in the world’. Now this guy is offering these babies to me (not the Porcelena of course!)–for absolutely free!

“How about the rest?” he gestured to the slim chocolate blocks, that were wrapped in names like Equador, Grenada, Jamaica, Madagascar, Trinidad and Venezuela–its cocoa-bean’s country of origin.

I was still wide eyed and in a state of disbelief. I felt like I couldn’t touch those chocolates, and returned that box of 1 CRU back on the counter.

So I said, “Why don’t you choose one for me?”

He rummages through the basket, and says, “How about, one of each?”

“Are you serious???” I really can’t believe my luck.

He proceeds to pick up 6 bars of chocolates and maybe more–I forgot.

Then, picking up that box I’d put down, he brought them all to a corner, said he was going to scan it in, so he can take them off the inventory.

“There you go… over 300 dollars worth,” he says and puts them all in a bag for me.

The whole time this was happening, my head was in a spin. This came out of nowhere! I was laughing from the sheer pleasure of this wonderful surprise.

“You came at the right time, “ he smiles.

I asked for his name, so I could thank him by name. With his thick accent, it sounded something like Kahoe, but I’m not sure… So I dare not say that was the name of the man who made my day. 🙂

My girlfriends finally comes over to see what’s up and he leans across the counter and generously offers them 2 bars each.

Hahs!! We walked out of the store, on clouds and sunshine. 🙂

This random act of kindness happened on 15th January (I remember the date, ‘cos we were celebrating my friend’s birthday). I had chosen not to share this story till now because my Ego had to take a back seat. And I wanted something meaningful to offer others, along with this story.

I guess, it feels like the right time to share it today: Life’s Like A Basket Of Amedei Chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get. 

This post is also a call for deeper inner reflection. “Look Inside.”

When you don’t find what you’re looking for, Ask Questions.

The answers you are seeking often lies in the question itself.

It may, in fact, give you so much more than what you ask for.

“You came at the right time,” he says. The right time is NOW.

NOW is the time to begin an enriching journey of Self-Discovery.




“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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