“Believe In A Love That Is Stored Up For You Like An Inheritance.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Today, if you’re tired from the pain, anger, struggle and sorrow. If you’re longing for peace and quiet, in the midst of the noise, conflicts, and anxieties that are stirring up a storm within. Return to an awareness, of Love. Return to the Resting place of Love, within you.

Return to a knowing that there’s a wealth of Love stored up for you like an inheritance. Draw from this Love that resides within you.

Enter into a moment of silence and stillness. You can do this anywhere, anytime, by cultivating an Awareness. Listen in. Can you hear Love’s invitation to you, from within? “Rest your bones with me. Take all your tired and weary sighs, and rest your bones with Me.” – Reblog from an original posting on 24.04.13, on The Love Culture

“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…

That’s the thought that crossed my mind, as I took a quiet walk through the showroom upstairs, where urns of crystal jades or biodegradable orbs are displayed like a private collection of exotic pots and prized vases.

As a writer, it’s important for me to get a feel of this place. It’s my client’s business afterall. My colleagues are downstairs having a meeting in Mandarin. For the millionth time, I wished I could comprehend the language. But for now, I am free to explore this building on my own.

As a centre of funeral and bereavement care, I think they’ve done a commendable job. The attention to details, aesthetics, and ambience, are thoughtfully combined to create a serene atmosphere for the grieving.

“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…

The chandeliers above and the orchids in the corner creates a sense of beauty and familiarity, like you’ve walked into a living room from an I.D magazine, and yet, the mahagony casket with ‘The Last Supper’ finishing or the solid bed of bronze reminds you that this is a departure lounge.

I think about regrets… and how one day it won’t matter anymore. One day, I’ll be bones and ashes… This pain… anger… struggle… sorrow… all that noise churning up a storm within… one day, it will all be quiet.

One day, all these will pale in comparison to Having Loved and Being Loved. But somedays, sometimes, it gets hard to believe that love is all.

“I feel like I have nothing… I am nothing,” said a friend once.

Her words are not hers alone. I am all too familiar with that feeling and I believe the same fear is quietly weighing on the hearts of many. Over the years, I’ve been tracing this fear and feelings of insignificance back to my false assumptions of what Love and Happiness should look and be like.

Loosing that attachment to the appearances of things, and being open to Love as it presents itself in all its ways and form have been liberating.

The truth is, right here, right now, we have Everything because of Love.

This Love,

is in us to grow, is for us to live, and is ours to gift as we choose.

The daily challenge is for us to come into remembrance of our inheritance.

“Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.” – Hafiz

Could it be, Life has SHAKEN you to AWAKEN you? 

Here’s another radical idea: What if that moment your world as you knew it was crumbling down and flipping over, was a divine moment of Grace? 

If this idea isn’t sitting well with you, WAIT, check this out before you go:

“While on an expedition to Antarctica last month, photographer Alex Cornell witnessed a massive iceberg flip, revealing a strangely translucent blue underside that’s completely free of snow and debris. According to Science World, almost 90% of any given iceberg is below the surface, making iceberg flips extremely rare.

Much larger iceberg flips are even capable of causing tsunamis that can overtake nearby ships.” – thisiscolossal.com

flip-1

Stunning Iceberg Flip captured by Alex Cornell: http://www.alexcornell.com/#/antarctica/

 

flip-2

Stunning Iceberg Flip captured by Alex Cornell: http://www.alexcornell.com/#/antarctica/

 

On YouTube, in a video entitled ‘Iceberg flipping over…’ the person who posted it described the phenomenon like this: “… the huge berg lost a part of itself (look at the right side sinking) and then flipped over with a huge roar.

In the process of melting this happens all the time, but it is seldom that it is captured on video WHEN it happens…”

As I read all these and marvelled at these stunning shots, I was graced with a moment of clarity, which led to an inner hush of silence and gratitude…

…For the ‘Divine Meltdown’ that led to the Flipping Over of my world.

It was a scary and painful episode of my life where every false external securities, addictions and attachments I had clung on to and mistaken as my Identity, Worth and Purpose, melted away in a blink of an eye.

It was terrifying while it was happening.

But all along, it was Grace at work, a blessing in disguise. It marked the moment of my Awakening. For that to happen, my old world-view was turned Upside Down, Inside Out.

More than that, it was an answer to my prayer. All year long, no kidding, I’d been praying, “Upgrade me! Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically-TOTALLY!” Of course when I prayed that dangerous prayer, I had no idea I was inviting into my life, an extreme internal makeover.

What I had in mind, and what the DIVINE had in store for me, were worlds apart. I got more than what I could ever ask, hope or imagine for myself.

But again, it was NOT EASY when things went down the way it did. I had not anticipated that a total Upgrade would mean Growth, and lots of Growing Pains. And just like an iceberg in the process of melting, it looked as if I was losing a part of myself and sinking under. When the flipping over happened, I was flipping out, BIG TIME. There was a huge roar of fear. I protested and resisted the massive change that was about to happen.

And no matter what I did, there was no turning back. The flip was still happening, ready or not.

As I went under, I thought I was dying.

As it turns out, it was a rebirth.

ALL that had been hidden from the surface of my consciousness all these years, began to reveal itself, and is still revealing itself. What seemed like a ‘Rude Awakening’ is, and continues to be, a Grace-Filled Awakening.

“Almost 90% of any given iceberg is below the surface, making iceberg flips extremely rare.”

Are 90% of us still below the surface, still not Awakened? Are we choosing comfort, over the pain of growing? Security, over the risk of change? Are we resisting a massive ‘flip over’? And flipping out when it happens?

During a conversation with a friend the other day, he shared that he’ll rather have a smooth, monotonous existence where life may be boring but at least he’d never have to grow. He prefers it to the jarring pain of growth.

I know I can’t live like that. If you’re not growing, you’re ‘dying’. For me, that’s an even greater pain. I hope to keep growing till the day I die. And in this light, for every Flipping Over that has happened, is happening and will continue to happen, I say, bring it on. It’s always scary and painful and frustrating at first. But again and again and again, I am rediscovering that ‘what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.’ — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

It takes the flipping over to reveal what’s buried, and hidden within.

It’s not easy. And nobody likes painful experiences. But we can all give an empowering meaning to whatever we experience in life and be so much better off for it. Perhaps today is another opportunity to relook into a painful / challenging moment in your life, and be reminded of this truth:

“Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.” — Hafiz

 

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Constant Love – Does it exist?

Do you think, these words in the song ‘Come What May’, reflect the kind of love you have known, or is it a song of a Higher Love, the kind you have yet to know? Do you think, this Love that is spoken of, is reserved for the lucky few, or don’t you think, you are worthy of it too? But more than a question of worthiness (for it was never a question of worthiness), don’t you think, this is the secret cry of every single person on earth? To have a taste of what Kari Jobe describes as “So faithful, So constant, So loving, and So true?” A Love that stays… Come What May?

Open your ears. Listen anew. 
Open your mind. Perceive anew. 
Open your heart. Receive anew.

I open my journal today
and it’s 12 November 12.

“As soon as I closed the door to my room after getting home from work, I collapsed into sobs of tears. Couldn’t stop crying…

…and yet,

“Come what may,
come what may,
I will Love you,
until the end of time”
kept playing in my head.

It’s that Moulin Rouge song again… How annoying. I don’t know WHY I’m hearing it. It’s been ringing in my head in the Silent Retreat (28 October 12 – 7 November 12). Now I’m hearing it again. But as soon as I wondered WHY, it became so clear.

The pain of Abandonment (to leave completely and finally)… just when I am healing from that, now, we have to deal with a possibility of another bigger Abandonment.

But this Song is saying, “Come what may, come what may, I will love you…”

“Until my dying days,”
says the song.

“Until the end of time,”
I heard.

“Until eternity, always,”
I felt.

The tears stopped at that realization. I felt spoken to. All is quiet within now. I can go downstairs and have dinner and cheer X up. We’ll watch ‘The Constant Garderner’ (since we both haven’t seen it and she’s seen the Iron Lady).” – 12.11.12

Has a song been ringing in your head / heart lately? Is it in the total opposite direction of what you’re feeling / going through? For example, you’re in a time of deep grieving, but there’s an annoying, ‘sappy romantic song’ (like Moulin Rouge ‘Come What May’!) that’s been ringing in your head, and it’s NOT a reflection of how you feel? Perhaps then, it’s an indication of an Invitation from the Song of Songs. It’s a gift, from a Higher Love, beckoning you to Listen. Listen to the words in the song.

…does it speak to you?

No matter what we are going through, there’s a Constant Love that’s journeying with us, every step of the way. Just take the time to Pause, Listen. Soak it in. Receive. Relax… Are you Listening? It’s going to be okay.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Everybody Hurts

Hold On…

 

 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.” – Ann Voskamp

“…depression is like a room engulfed in flames and you can’t breathe for the sooty smoke smothering you limp — and suicide is deciding there is no way but to jump straight out of the burning building.

That when the unseen scorch on the inside finally sears intolerably hot – you think a desperate lunge from the flames and the land of the living seems the lesser of two unbearables…

…You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.

I remember the wild agony of no way out and how the stars looked, endless and forever, and your mind can feel like it’s burning up at all the edges and there’s never going to be any way to stop the flame.

Don’t bother telling us not to jump unless you’ve felt the heat, unless you bear the scars of the singe.

Don’t only turn up the praise songs but turn to Lamentations and Job and be a place of lament and tenderly unveil the God who does just that — who wears the scars of the singe.

A God who bares His scars and reaches through the fire to grab us, “Come — Escape into Me.” – Ann Voskamp

Link to full, original article by Ann Voskamp: 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/08/what-the-church-christians-need-to-know-about-suicide-mental-health/

Special thanks to http://hopeinhealingblog.wordpress.com/ for the link.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Keep It Real… in running and in loving. Learning how it actually works, can prevent damaging injuries. The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Running is easy, right? Just run! Loving is easy right? Just love! Right. Keep thinking that… 

Recent research has shown that as many as 79% of runners get injured at least once during the year. Stop. Think about that number for a moment. Nearly 8 out of every 10 runners you see at your next race have been or will be injured sometime that year.” – runnersconnect.com

There is 1 divorce in Malaysia every 10 minutes13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012, and so on and so forth. You get the picture.

We’re aware of these statistics, yet for some reason, we like to kid ourselves and think we’ll be the only exception and defy the odds.

This article by Jason Fitzgerald on 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle paints a true picture of what happens when we approach running–and I’ll add LOVING–with this kind of mindset:

“Flash back ten years ago: I was tearing through 80 mile weeks as a cocky 19 year old. But disaster was right around the corner.

I really had no idea what I was doing. My college coach gave us flexibility with our mileage and I was running too much, too soon, too fast. The “little things” that help you stay healthy were an afterthought…

So I ran myself into the ground. I reached 90 miles per week and then was forced to recover (slowly) from IT band syndrome.

This was after chronic Achilles tendinopathy ruined my spring track season. Later that year I’d have a string of other injuries.

I was locked in the injury cycle and had no idea what to do. It was frustrating; I thought I was doing everything right…” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Doesn’t this sound familiar?

When it comes to Love, can we admit we actually have no idea what we are doing? We get the idea from Hollywood that we’re going to be okay. Our ego tells us we can handle it. Our friends tells us it should be like this and that. And the message that we get all around is that it’s all fun and games. So we get into relationships too much, too soon, too fast. We end up running ourselves into the ground. Get our hearts broken. Get better. Then get our hearts broken again. It’s a cycle of heartbreak and pain!

If you’re SANE enough to be frustrated from years of chronic heartbreaks and you’re ready for a change, now’s the time to learn.

I love how Jason’s reality check for runners, applies to us all, as lovers:

“I could be your cheerleader and tell you that running is all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

But it’s not. Running is hard. It’s a contact sport between you and the ground and it can cause some serious damage.

My job is to help you become a better runner – healthier, faster, stronger, and free of injuries. Sometimes that means being brutally honest. And many of you are wildly impatient.

Good runners think long-term and put in the work month after month. They don’t care that they’re not ready to race this weekend – they’re more interested in building the fitness they need six months from now.

It’s a different mindset, but it’s often the difference between those who are chronically injured and consistently healthy.” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Loving is hard.

It’s not all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

It’s time to become brutally honest with yourself and practice patience. Think long-term and be willing to put in the work. Build the mental and emotional fitness you need to form healthy, loving, relationships.

In the past, I’ve done many things without putting in the work needed to learn how it works. I was more in love with the idea of it, than the reality of what it is and what it entails. As a result, I went through unnecessary complications, problems and pain. Sure, that’s how we learn, but some things can be avoided. Some fatal mistakes, we can’t afford to make.

I just started running.

I love how YouTube is full of tutorials on it. One of it says to film your run, so you can see your running posture, and correct from there. So I did, and spotted many things I could improve on. I’m glad I didn’t feel as awful as I did in my last run. My friend’s breathing tips made a world of difference. And there are plenty of videos on injury prevention and good running techniques I’ll need to watch and learn before my next run.

It’s all in the learning first, then practice.

It’s the same with Love.

Erich Fromm, Leo Buscaglia, and Gary Chapman are all saying the same thing. We need to study Love, and learn how it works, in order to Love ourselves and others, well. We need to get our heads out of the clouds and get a reality check on what love is and what it really requires.

“Much of the pain in broken relationships in our world stems from the truth that many of us have never been serious students of love. We haven’t taken it seriously enough to learn how it actually works.” – Gary Chapman

“Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.” – Erich Fromm

“Somehow or rather we all believe that all of the things we need to become lovers and to form relationships, are already in us. And all we have to do to realise it is to get to be a certain age, and there they are. You know if that were true, the statistics I presented to you will not be there.

Certainly you have a great potential to be a great lover, and it’s always there. I don’t care how old you are… But somewhere along the line, you’ve got to encounter it.You’ve got to take it seriously. You’ve got to embrace it in your arms.

You’ve got to ask questions like, ‘How does it happen? How does one do it?  How does one continue to grow in Love?’ It doesn’t just happen.” – Leo Buscaglia 

Love well. Do your homework.
Do your homework. Run well.

Keep it real.

The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

This Too Shall Pass

 

“This too shall pass” (Persian: این نیز بگذرد‎, Arabic: لا شيء يدوم‎, Hebrew: גם זה יעבור‎)

an adage indicating that all material conditions, positive or negative, are temporary. – Wiki

thistooshallpass

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

What Is The Most You Can Do For You?

“What is the most I can do for Me?” 

There’s only 4 days left to the 4th month of this year. The next 8 months will go by in a blink. Let’s pause and think “What is the most I can do for me?” in 2013?

What is the price you’re willing to pay to achieve your dream? What dreams do you have? A dream body? A job with a salary you’ve been dreaming about? A life you have occasionally dreamed for yourself?

Whatever it is, today the question that’s coming to me in the middle of the afternoon is, “What is the most I can do for Me?”  

It’s a Saturday. I want to be anywhere but home!

But I’ve made a wish. One of which is making X amount in a month so the writing jobs keep pouring in and I’ve said YES to them all and this is the price I have to pay… As usual, I booked a flight to Procrastination instead!

To be honest, I’m thoroughly enjoying the detour.

All afternoon, it’s like I hopped on a crazy tuk-tuk ride, whisked to all the gem spots hidden in plain sight. I’ve been here many times. It’s like my own secret garden but each time it feels different. Especially today…

…that’s when I counted. 31 Days… 4 weeks 3 Days to be exact, since the Inception of the Idea for a future project. That got me a little curious.

How is a baby like at 4 weeks?

“At this point the baby is developing the structures that will eventually form his face and neck. The heart and blood vessels continue to develop. And the lungs, stomach, and liver start to develop. A home pregnancy test would show positive.” – Development at 4 weeks, WebMD.

In other words, I spent the whole afternoon home alone, grounded, researching my idea. Throughout this process, I am aware of the discomfort I am struggling with, too. Always at the back of my mind, I am thinking of so and so, aching for more time with friends, missing so and so and feeling the pain of this and that. I crave for the comfort of a distraction! But a talk I was listening to on Friday came back to mind:

“Are you willing to pay the price? You’ve got to be willing to pay the price… The beautiful thing about Sacrifice… Sacrifice isn’t losing, Sacrifice is gaining… Sacrifice is giving up something of a lower nature to receive something of a higher nature… You see what you’re doing is you’re making a space for the good that you desire…” – Bob Proctor.

As my Idea develops by the days and weeks and months, one of the price I must be willing to pay eventually, is to leave my comfort zone.

“It’s nice to get a paycheque every month,” my friend pointed out.

“I’ve always been freelancing the past 4 years, so I’ve always been earning. And now I’m still freelancing on top of my regular job. So It’s nice to get a double income on top of my regular income…”

But there and then, I knew that he had called my bluff. My defence only made it clearly so. After living without the security of a regular income for 4 years, it IS nice, getting a regular pay every month. It IS easy money.

It feels like I’ve been on a working holiday but the days of fun are quickly drawing to an end. My eyes have been set on a bigger prize, and the way there, is not easy. I’ve signed on for the adventure that it promises to be–the challenges and obstacles to overcome and the greater reward it holds. The question is, am I willing to sacrifice and pay the price?

I guess that’s why out of the blue, something a friend said, came back to mind. “That is the most I can do for you.”

But I am hearing it in a different way today. When I wanted to distract myself with food, but chose not to, I heard, “That is the most I can do for you.” By choosing not to binge, that is the most I can do for myself.

I wanted to make plans to go out. By choosing to commit to a deadline and finishing a work I’ve promised to hand in, that is the most I can do for myself–and my client. I felt tempted to message a possible admirer. By choosing not to use someone as an emotional crutch or for attention even when it’s offered willingly, that is the most I can do for me–and him.

By choosing to pay the price… that is the most I can do for me… for you.

I guess this is another way to “Love your neighbour, AS YOURSELF.”

It begins with Me. “What is the most I can do for Me?” 

ps: It’s only after finishing this post that it became clear why this song was ringing in my head all day. It’s from the Korean drama “That Winter The Wind Blows.” I’m now at this episode where it’s getting more and more evident that the guy is willing to sacrifice his reputation and forsake an easy way out for The Reason worth living and dying for. He’s no angel. But he’s now willing to pay the price…

*Sunday Update: I love how this question “What is the most I can do for me?” is taking me forward. I’m finally doing something MORE about the pain from a weak core! Just discovered an awesome Pilates based core workout on youtube by Kristy Lee Wilson, a Cirque du Soleil Performer and Personal Trainer. Can’t wait to get a mat on Monday to try it out!

What’s the most you have done for yourself this weekend? I’m sure you’re worth it!

Care to share?

🙂

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Believe In A Love That Is Stored Up For You Like An Inheritance.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Today, if you’re tired from the pain, anger, struggle and sorrow. If you’re longing for peace and quiet, in the midst of the noise, conflicts, and anxieties that are stirring up a storm within. Return to an awareness, of Love. Return to the Resting place of Love, within you.

Return to a knowing that there’s a wealth of Love stored up for you like an inheritance. Draw from this Love that resides within you.

Enter into a moment of silence and stillness. You can do this anywhere, anytime, by cultivating an Awareness. Listen in. Can you hear Love’s invitation to you, from within? “Rest your bones with me. Take all your tired and weary sighs, and rest your bones with Me.”

“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…

That’s the thought that crossed my mind, as I took a quiet walk through the showroom upstairs, where urns of crystal jades or biodegradable orbs are displayed like a private collection of exotic pots and prized vases.

As a writer, it’s important for me to get a feel of this place. It’s my client’s business afterall. My colleagues are downstairs having a meeting in Mandarin. For the millionth time, I wished I could comprehend the language. But for now, I am free to explore this building on my own.

As a centre of funeral and bereavement care, I think they’ve done a commendable job. The attention to details, aesthetics, and ambience, are thoughtfully combined to create a serene atmosphere for the grieving.

“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…

The chandeliers above and the orchids in the corner creates a sense of beauty and familiarity, like you’ve walked into a living room from an I.D magazine, and yet, the mahagony casket with ‘The Last Supper’ finishing or the solid bed of bronze reminds you that this is a departure lounge.

I think about regrets… and how one day it won’t matter anymore. One day, I’ll be bones and ashes… This pain… anger… struggle… sorrow… all that noise churning up a storm within… one day, it will all be quiet.

One day, all these will pale in comparison to Having Loved and Being Loved. But somedays, sometimes, it gets hard to believe that love is all.

“I feel like I have nothing… I am nothing,” said a friend once.

Her words are not hers alone. I am all too familiar with that feeling and I believe the same fear is quietly weighing on the hearts of many. Over the years, I’ve been tracing this fear and feelings of insignificance back to my false assumptions of what Love and Happiness should look and be like.

Loosing that attachment to the appearances of things, and being open to Love as it presents itself in all its ways and form have been liberating.

The truth is, right here, right now, we have Everything because of Love.

This Love,

is in us to grow, is for us to live, and is ours to gift as we choose.

The daily challenge is for us to come into remembrance of our inheritance.

“Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

There Is No Loss In Love… Only Gain

It is said that Pain is the glue that connects us all.

Lately I’ve been feeling the pain of loss… and loosing sleep and appetite over it.

I know the importance of allowing ourselves to feel what we feel instead of numbing it… but today, it got a bit much. So happy hour started a little bit early while at work.

“You’re trying to numb the pain… You’re not supposed to numb your pain… Feel it… What are you learning from it?” says my inner voice.

I didn’t care much for learning today… I just wanted that feeling to go away… but by the end of the can, nothing’s changed.

The moment I stopped fighting it and acknowledged I’m plain miserable… the Lesson presented itself.

With every loss, there is a gain…

You gain a greater sense of appreciation for what you’ve had in the past and what you’ve got in the present…

Sometimes, it may seem too late…

But in truth, it’s never too late to feel gratitude.

Lately, the words of a friend from the past, “This is the most I can do for you…” and the words of a friend in the present, “I hope I can be a perennial herb to you…” are ringing in my heart and my head.

Who am I?

Why do people even think about what is the most they can do for me?

Have I ever thought about what is the most I can do for others?

To be honest, I can’t remember if I ever have…

It’s easy to say I’m selfish and it’s true I am…

…but I’ve also been learning about self-love and self-compassion. So I want to remind myself that sometimes the best things we do for others come so naturally and unselfconsciously that we’re unaware of it.

Maybe I’ve been that kind of friend for someone to deserve this kind of kindness… Or maybe it’s not that I’m deserving of it but that  I’ve been so blessed to have such a person in my life. Either way, unconditional love means that I am free to receive love without having to repay in kind…

At the end of the day, it’s not about me… It’s that the other person asked the question, “What is the most I can do for you?” and then acted on it.

What a beautiful way of being and living… By that person’s example, I can now choose to ask the same question and do the same for others…

As for my friend who wants to be my perennial herb… lol. That is one of the sweetest most craziest thing a person has ever said to me. I love it.

“Perennial means plants that live forever ever given the right conditions,” she said. “Yea. I’m familiar with perennial cos I had to research it for my client… They’re super hardy and resilient…” I said.

I’m blessed with good friends… some of which I’ve come to appreciate, too late. But they’ll always be in my heart, and as V once said, “that’s a very good place to stay.”

ps: So happy I got to watch BIG MIRACLE on Astro last night. It’s a movie about a whole community coming together to save 3 sperm whales. But on a deeper note, it shows that animals are great teachers of Love, too…

I think the timing of the movie couldn’t have been any more perfect. Just earlier, I shared a video on The Love Culture. It’s of this kitten and dolphin, showing us that love is everywhere, even in the deep blue sea.

Enjoy the vid. 😉

pps: Have you experienced loss lately? How did you deal with pain? Did you gain something from the experience? Let’s share and grow together. I’ll like to hear and learn from you. Drop comments below.

Love,

Mish.

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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