“The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute.
Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites:
*I’ll be worthy when I lose twenty pounds.
*I’ll be worthy if I can get pregnant.
*I’ll be worthy if I get / stay sober.
*I’ll be worthy if everyone thinks I’m a good parent.
*I’ll be worthy when I can make a living selling my art.
*I’ll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together.
*I’ll be worthy when I make partner.
*I’ll be worthy when my parents finally approve.
*I’ll be worthy if he calls back and asks me out.
*I’ll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I’m not even trying.
Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
My biggest breakthrough today, is realizing that perhaps what’s holding me back for so long is because I didn’t believe / realize I was worthy.
I believed I’ll be worthy if I had incredible self-love and lived it everyday. I believed I’ll be worthy if I wasn’t so assumptious. I believed I’ll be worthy when I’m stronger, more-together, better, kinder, braver, more honest, more loving! I believed I’ll be worthy when I’m in a loving relationship. I believe I’ll be worthy when I’ve found the path to happiness. I believe I’ll be worthy if I’m certified in the areas I wish to grow in. I believed I’ll be worthy when I polished up my grammar and my English is immaculate.
In other words, I believed I’ll be worthy when I’m perfect! With these limiting beliefs and mind-set in place, it’s no wonder I’m stuck.
The truth is, I still struggle with self-doubt and self-hate, even as I’m learning and growing in self-love and practicing it. “Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves. This is a tall order given how hard most of us are on ourselves.” – Brené Brown
The truth is that right after writing the article “Assumption Kills”, I sent a text to X to get clear on some things, thinking I had ‘seen the light’. He pointed out that I assume the worst and that it’s true, ‘it was assumptions that drew us apart’. I thanked him for his feedback but I was mortified.
After T pointed out this blindspot to me in 2011, “You assume a lot,” I thought I had gone a long way forward in being less assumptious. To know that 3 years later, I still have a habit of assuming a lot, I felt very embarrassed and ashamed. But Today, I acknowledge it’s okay–I’m only human. And that this goes to show that our learning never ends. We just grow more and more in Awareness each time and know better next time.
And the truth is that though I’m stronger now, there are moments when I made poor decisions out of my weaknesses. Even though my motto this year is to get myself together, I will still fall apart every now and then. The truth is that though I want to be a better person by being kinder, braver, more honest, more loving, there are days when I’m the exact opposite!
The truth is that I need to be okay with myself not being okay all the time.
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.
It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” – Brené Brown
When I realised today that my biggest struggle is with my own Worthiness, it’s releasing me to know that I am Worthy Now.
I want to share my story, so that someone else will know that they’re not alone, in their imperfection and in their struggle for love, happiness, wholeness, and a life of meaning and purpose. I want to share my story, so that more people will know that there’s Hope, we’re in this together.
I want to share my story, as a fellow traveller on earth to another.
I want to share my story, because I’m Worthy. And so are You.
“…Wholehearted living is not a onetime choice. It is a process. In fact, I believe it’s the journey of a lifetime.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
Are there some things you’d like to do? Some people you’d like to meet? Some dreams you’d like to pursue? Some goals you’d like to realise? Some place you’d like to be at? Some events you’d like to join? Some company you’d like to be a part of? Some skills you’d like to acquire? Some trips you’d like to go to? Some decisions that’ll make you happier? Some choices that will grant you peace of mind? Some experiences you’d love to have? Have you allowed it to happen yet? If not, what’s holding you back? Is it a matter of Readiness or a struggle with Worthiness?
“I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see, I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be… I believe that you fell so you would land next to me,” – Christina Perri, I Believe
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb
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