Let’s plant good seeds in the garden of our hearts. May we be nourished with a fruitful harvest of Love, Joy, and Peace

fruitsoflove

 

Let’s plant good seeds in the garden of our hearts. The seeds of truth, and kind, loving thoughts. May it bring forth a fruitful harvest. May we be nourished, with Love, Joy and Peace. – The Love Culture

 

Love, Mish

FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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“The Growth of one blesses all. I am committed to grow in Love.” – Julia Cameron

Life is not so much about “Mission Accomplished,” as it is “Mission Accepted.” It is an Invitation to Dance. Loosen up a little. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake stop you from trying.

“I had hoped to end this book on a triumphant note… Unfortunately, such a tale, while possibly uplifting and feel-good, would have to be filed in the fiction aisles. For much of the writing of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts I continued to relapse: bingeing and lying, shamed and hollow.” – Dr. Gabor Maté.

Dr. Maté goes on to say that it wasn’t until recently that he would clean up his act. But rather than shout, “Mission Accomplished!” He says, “Mission Accepted” would be more accurate (reference: Dr. Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, p 349).

As I read this, I realised this sounds so much like me. And what a relief.

I, too, was hoping to end my book on a triumphant note, a “Happily Ever After”. I’m thinking when life starts to fall smoothly into place, and when every little dream and desires are fulfilled, and everything is in the order of perfection, THEN I’ll be happy. THEN I’ll have something to shout about.

As we all know (and yet, how often we forget), life doesn’t quite work out like that. If we go by that definition, we’ll end up waiting our whole lives.

We are not called to Perfection. We are called to WHOLENESS. And that means, we’re not just called to live the Good Life, but a life that is made of the Not-So-Good, as well. Wisdom, is born of Pain. It’s how we learn, it’s how we grow. And for most of us, it’s the only time we’d ever learn or grow! We need the darkness, as much as the light. It’s what makes us WHOLE and complete.

I am reminded of this, when I read Dr. Mate’s bold and honest statement.

I am reminded that instead of my “triumphant note”, I’ve progressed, and regressed, one step forward, two steps back… then step up again.

Doesn’t it sound like a dance?

Two steps forward, three steps back,

One step forward, then another, and back again.

Then forth, then back, and back and forth we go, twirling around in this dance of life.

A friend once shared his observation, “You’re going in circles!” And he meant it as a friendly warning, to bring to my awareness my life’s pattern.

There was a time where I feared my own regressions and mistakes. But I’ve come to the point where I recognise something else, besides fear.

The two steps back keeps me humble and compassionate. The one step forward again, fills me with Faith, Hope, and Love, giving me strength for the long journey ahead.

Perhaps, this is the reason why out of the 6 books I had hoped to purchase recently, 2 of my orders were cancelled by the bookstore. I felt a mix of disappointment and amusement. Both the books that happened to be unavailable were, ‘The Dance of the Dissident Daughter’ by Sue Monk Kidd and ‘The Dance’ by Oriah. Is it mere coincidence that both titles with the words ‘dance’ in it were not making it’s way to me? It could be.

But I know that I didn’t specifically select these books for the theme on dancing. I merely wanted to complete my collection of Sue Monk Kidd’s memoirs, and Oriah’s series of books. So I ordered whatever I didn’t have.

Today, I’m beginning to see that this incident is not a sign that my invitation to the dance of life has been cancelled! Rather, it is an Invitation. It is drawing me to the word Dance, as I yearn to be whole.

In a dance, and in dancing, it’s important to maintain a certain tension (arm tension, core tension), and yet, to be graceful, we are to loosen up.

This is not an easy thing to do. One seems to be the opposite of the other!

I remember going to a Tango Open Day, to watch my friend dance. The instructor, in the hopes of recruiting new students, began drawing the audience, one by one, to the dance floor. I was chewing bubblegum, to hide that I was feeling terrified! I was hoping she wouldn’t pick me, but she did, and I did what I could, and was pretty happy with myself by the end of it.

Moments later, that silly smile from conquering my fear would be wiped off my face. Apparently, the instructor had whispered into the ears of the guy she pulled to dance after me, and said, “You’re a better dancer than that girl. She’s so stiff, she can’t dance… But you, you’re a natural.”

I had thought of enrolling in her class. As you can imagine, when said guy relayed the information to me, I was crushed, and never saw her again.

I should’ve known that what happened that night, speaks volumes about the instructor, too. She looked so beautiful and elegant for her old age, with her grey-white hair slicked back into a bun. And her movements were as fluid as any sweet young things. But even at that age, she had not grown comfortable in her own skin. If she was, she would’ve recognised my stiffness as a sign of discomfort, and saw a young girl with no confidence.

If she was sure in herself, she would’ve taken that opportunity to speak words of encouragement, leading me to bring out the dancer in me.

Everyone can dance.

But she didn’t believe that. And I didn’t believe that. She needed to cling to her superiority. And I was too busy clinging to my inferiority. I think we both could learn how to Loosen Up a little.

I watched the Tango Scene in the Scent of a Woman last week. The blind man, Frank Slade, asked Donna to dance. Donna’s response is natural. She speaks for most of us when she said, “Ah, I think I’d be a little afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Afraid of making a mistake.”

“No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life… If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, you just tango on. Why don’t you try?” Slade is persistent in his invitation, “You’ll try it?” Donna responds with courage, daring to make a silly mistake. “All right. I’ll give it a try.”

The Hope, is in the trying. Remember, Life is not so much “Mission Accomplished,” as it is “Mission Accepted.” It is an Invitation to Dance… Loosen Up. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake stop you from trying.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Awaken to Grace…

To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” – Brennan Manning

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Vulnerability

Vulnerability

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Being In The NOW Releases You From The Miserable “What Ifs” And Frees You To Enter-Into-Joy (En-Joy), This Present Moment.

28 JAN, 14

“Now I know why dogs love sticking their heads out the window! This is fun!” Lilian laughed with the glee of a child, waving one hand out in the air, steering the wheels with the other, hair flying wildly in the wind.

It was a smooth cruise up the clear and winding road.

We were driving into clouds bursting into icy sprays all over our face. A delicious treat when we’re so used to heat, all year long. The thick, heavy mist all around was getting thicker and heavier by the minute. A sure promise we’ll be freezing our ass off, as soon as we make it to the top!

Luca, her Italian friend who’s down for the weekend for a visit is the reason why we’re making this special trip up. He is smiling brightly and enjoying the surprising coolness as much as we were. He’s been to Malaysia 2 years ago. It had always been warm and humid. He never knew it could get this cold, and we’re only halfway up Genting Highlands!

“I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless, and in this moment I am happy, happy, … I wish you were here!” – Incubus

It was in this moment that I was happy, that I fell into a state of misery. I was thinking of Mr.X and missing him so. As my mind drifted to the past, I was no longer in the car but a passenger in a dark train of thoughts. It was rushing through a tunnel of regrets, going deeper underground.

“What if I didn’t say goodbye? What if I waited for him to call? What if I tried to call again? Would it have turned out differently?” “Maybe if I did this, he would’ve responded positively.” “Maybe if I did that, he would’t be silent.” “Maybe if I kept silent, he would’ve called.” “We could still be together IF I was more patient, more understanding, more forgiving… right???”

This has happened before. In my journal dated 12.12.10, this was the morning Rinda, my Spiritual Director, asked me how I felt. It was our one-on-one session time, the only time we get to talk in the Silent Retreat.

“Up and down and up and down,” I replied.

“Mmmm. Let me introduce you to the 5 stages of grieving,” she said, referencing Elizabeth Kubler Ross. “Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.”

“The last stage, Acceptance, takes the longest to arrive at.

Until you do, you will find yourself bouncing between one and four, for some time.”

That explains a lot. I didn’t know what stage I was in but I had a question for Rinda. I have been following all the rules in the retreat and I’ve tried as much as possible to focus on God, so I wanted to know something.

“Is it okay to hope? Hope that maybe I can still work things out with him?”

Rinda smiled. “You are bargaining. God, if I promise to be good in this retreat, and remember You when I’m needy, can I keep him?

You need to let that die…

In order to be opened to what God wants you to do.

Be in the Nowness. Seek God and what He wants,” she said. “His will, not my will.”

These days, I’ve been struggling with the concept of God and believing. Yet in the midst of unbelief, it is an agnostic that assures me there’s a Higher Love. It is the girl with the tattoos that stubbornly insists God is real, in between smoking and flicking ash into the tray. It is a celebrity with no specific religion that eagerly shares that he has now chosen to believe in God, and wants to have a relationship with God. As I continue vacillating between a place of Faith to a place of Doubt, and back and forth, I find that I am still Guided through life, in my darkest moments.

As my heart was sinking and my smile fading, Mr.Now appeared instead.

“Be in the Nowness,” he suggested.

“You can’t change the past. Worrying will not change a thing, right now. It is your attachment to what you had, that is making you miserable, right now.

It is your fear, of what you might not have in the days to come, that is making you miserable, right now. The future has not yet happened. So why worry, now?

He isn’t here right now. Being miserable won’t bring him here right now. But you are here, Right Now. You can choose to enjoy this moment, Right Now.

You can be happy. You are already happy. You just need to realize that, and realize you can stay happy, if you stay in the Now.”

Just like that, my mind sprung back to the present and I was back with my friends in the car, joining in the laughter and enjoying our journey up.

That was Saturday. Today it’s Monday Blues! I am back in Bargaining Mode, miserable over the What Ifs. So I found myself writing a letter addressed to the Universe, Life, God, J… I stated my wish to see X again.

But what are my reasons? I began thinking what it is I loved about him.

I love the way he supports me. “You’re on fire babe!!! Inspiring me!

Be proud of how strong you’re being right now. It’s always hard to touch such sensitive themes with people you have chaotic backgrounds with. You’re super tough and looking at the bear straight in the eye!” he said, when I shared my struggle for the day.

I love the way he sees me. “A little work of art (he sends me the image that came to mind. An original sculpture in marble of a lady in a veil, by Raffaelo Monti)… for the absolute beauty, meticulousness, purity and peace that comes out of it.” “Your laugh… I like it… it’s pure.”

I love the way he understands. “No problems are small, all problems are important, relevant and proportionate to each person’s reality.”

There are so many things I love about him. But there are reasons why we’re not together now. I needed to be honest and remember why.

I thought about the ways he frustrates me (be it unconsciously or subconsciously). I thought about how worried and insecure I became in the process. And through that, discovered how needy I could still be.

“If only we could reconnect again, try again and understand each other,  we could help each other heal and grow, right?” I tried bargaining. 

That’s when a stream of Bigger Questions flowed through my heart.

Could it be, our connection is meant to be short and sudden, For Now? Could it be, we have served our purpose in each of our lives and done our part for each other’s healing and growth, For Now? 

Could it be, we are apart, For Now, in order for Life to flow the way it needs to flow, bringing us along the paths, persons, experiences and lessons we need to encounter before encountering each other again? 

Could it be, the frustrations were meant to build up and explode, to blow through the wall of resistance we built towards our growth?

“This is the year I get myself together,” – X

“My theme this year is Wholehearted,” – M

We both have a great vision for our life. Can I trust that we can continue in our vision for our lives, even when apart? Can I trust that our daily work on ourselves, will lead us to a new level of wholesomeness? And because like attracts like, lead us back to each other–if not as lovers, then as friends? Could I be satisfied, with having him in my life, as a friend, if nothing more could be offered? 

The answer to all of the above is Yes.

For Now, everything is as it should be.

For Now, I get to wish him happiness.

For Now, I get to wish me happiness.

For Now, I am grateful for all I had, all I have, and all I am yet to receive…

…Life is full of Surprises.

So allow yourself to be Surprised!

By the end of the letter / journal writing, I felt so much better, lighter and free. I felt Grateful. For the Awareness. And for the tools I’ve been equipped with to deal with the pain and misery whenever it sneaks in.

As always, my intention for sharing my story and journey here is in the hope that we can grow through this together–one day at a time.

Today is The Day, made and created for you, to enjoy and be glad in it.

It’s okay and healthy to grief, for a time, for the loss of a loved one–be it due to death, separation, divorce or break ups.

But right now, if you’re done being stuck in the past with the miserable “What Ifs” and you’re ready to move on and Enter-into-Joy (En-Joy), try being in the Nowness.

May living in the moment, bring you release.

“If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free…

So I just let go
Of what I know I don’t know
And I know I only do this by

Living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
With peace in my soul…

I’m letting myself off the hook
For things I’ve done
I let my past go past
And now I’m having more fun
I’m letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong…” – Living In The Moment, Jason Mraz.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.” – Ann Voskamp

“…depression is like a room engulfed in flames and you can’t breathe for the sooty smoke smothering you limp — and suicide is deciding there is no way but to jump straight out of the burning building.

That when the unseen scorch on the inside finally sears intolerably hot – you think a desperate lunge from the flames and the land of the living seems the lesser of two unbearables…

…You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.

I remember the wild agony of no way out and how the stars looked, endless and forever, and your mind can feel like it’s burning up at all the edges and there’s never going to be any way to stop the flame.

Don’t bother telling us not to jump unless you’ve felt the heat, unless you bear the scars of the singe.

Don’t only turn up the praise songs but turn to Lamentations and Job and be a place of lament and tenderly unveil the God who does just that — who wears the scars of the singe.

A God who bares His scars and reaches through the fire to grab us, “Come — Escape into Me.” – Ann Voskamp

Link to full, original article by Ann Voskamp: 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/08/what-the-church-christians-need-to-know-about-suicide-mental-health/

Special thanks to http://hopeinhealingblog.wordpress.com/ for the link.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Prickly Love

“Learn to love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but it takes a great heart to love the thorns.” – Anon.

My heart isn’t that great… but in the midst of all the bad, there’s some good. And that good part wants to try, wants to love, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

In trying, I keep failing, keep regressing, keep messing it up. Seems like I’m back to square one.

The real challenge is in learning to love with all my heart and accept my unlovable side–my own thorns–before I can do the same for others. 

“To love means loving the unlovable.” – G.K Chesterton.

It’s tough, but it starts with loving the Unlovable side of ourselves.

I look in the mirror today and see a big Thorn. Not a comfortable sight.

Dear Lovers,

I’m a work in progress. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Prickly Love, by Stephen Ryan: http://stiofanoriain.com

Prickly Love, by Stephen Ryan: http://stiofanoriain.com

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Keep It Real… in running and in loving. Learning how it actually works, can prevent damaging injuries. The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Running is easy, right? Just run! Loving is easy right? Just love! Right. Keep thinking that… 

Recent research has shown that as many as 79% of runners get injured at least once during the year. Stop. Think about that number for a moment. Nearly 8 out of every 10 runners you see at your next race have been or will be injured sometime that year.” – runnersconnect.com

There is 1 divorce in Malaysia every 10 minutes13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012, and so on and so forth. You get the picture.

We’re aware of these statistics, yet for some reason, we like to kid ourselves and think we’ll be the only exception and defy the odds.

This article by Jason Fitzgerald on 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle paints a true picture of what happens when we approach running–and I’ll add LOVING–with this kind of mindset:

“Flash back ten years ago: I was tearing through 80 mile weeks as a cocky 19 year old. But disaster was right around the corner.

I really had no idea what I was doing. My college coach gave us flexibility with our mileage and I was running too much, too soon, too fast. The “little things” that help you stay healthy were an afterthought…

So I ran myself into the ground. I reached 90 miles per week and then was forced to recover (slowly) from IT band syndrome.

This was after chronic Achilles tendinopathy ruined my spring track season. Later that year I’d have a string of other injuries.

I was locked in the injury cycle and had no idea what to do. It was frustrating; I thought I was doing everything right…” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Doesn’t this sound familiar?

When it comes to Love, can we admit we actually have no idea what we are doing? We get the idea from Hollywood that we’re going to be okay. Our ego tells us we can handle it. Our friends tells us it should be like this and that. And the message that we get all around is that it’s all fun and games. So we get into relationships too much, too soon, too fast. We end up running ourselves into the ground. Get our hearts broken. Get better. Then get our hearts broken again. It’s a cycle of heartbreak and pain!

If you’re SANE enough to be frustrated from years of chronic heartbreaks and you’re ready for a change, now’s the time to learn.

I love how Jason’s reality check for runners, applies to us all, as lovers:

“I could be your cheerleader and tell you that running is all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

But it’s not. Running is hard. It’s a contact sport between you and the ground and it can cause some serious damage.

My job is to help you become a better runner – healthier, faster, stronger, and free of injuries. Sometimes that means being brutally honest. And many of you are wildly impatient.

Good runners think long-term and put in the work month after month. They don’t care that they’re not ready to race this weekend – they’re more interested in building the fitness they need six months from now.

It’s a different mindset, but it’s often the difference between those who are chronically injured and consistently healthy.” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Loving is hard.

It’s not all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

It’s time to become brutally honest with yourself and practice patience. Think long-term and be willing to put in the work. Build the mental and emotional fitness you need to form healthy, loving, relationships.

In the past, I’ve done many things without putting in the work needed to learn how it works. I was more in love with the idea of it, than the reality of what it is and what it entails. As a result, I went through unnecessary complications, problems and pain. Sure, that’s how we learn, but some things can be avoided. Some fatal mistakes, we can’t afford to make.

I just started running.

I love how YouTube is full of tutorials on it. One of it says to film your run, so you can see your running posture, and correct from there. So I did, and spotted many things I could improve on. I’m glad I didn’t feel as awful as I did in my last run. My friend’s breathing tips made a world of difference. And there are plenty of videos on injury prevention and good running techniques I’ll need to watch and learn before my next run.

It’s all in the learning first, then practice.

It’s the same with Love.

Erich Fromm, Leo Buscaglia, and Gary Chapman are all saying the same thing. We need to study Love, and learn how it works, in order to Love ourselves and others, well. We need to get our heads out of the clouds and get a reality check on what love is and what it really requires.

“Much of the pain in broken relationships in our world stems from the truth that many of us have never been serious students of love. We haven’t taken it seriously enough to learn how it actually works.” – Gary Chapman

“Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.” – Erich Fromm

“Somehow or rather we all believe that all of the things we need to become lovers and to form relationships, are already in us. And all we have to do to realise it is to get to be a certain age, and there they are. You know if that were true, the statistics I presented to you will not be there.

Certainly you have a great potential to be a great lover, and it’s always there. I don’t care how old you are… But somewhere along the line, you’ve got to encounter it.You’ve got to take it seriously. You’ve got to embrace it in your arms.

You’ve got to ask questions like, ‘How does it happen? How does one do it?  How does one continue to grow in Love?’ It doesn’t just happen.” – Leo Buscaglia 

Love well. Do your homework.
Do your homework. Run well.

Keep it real.

The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Love is Hidden In Plain Sight. It Just Takes Courage, To See.

“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering.

What does love look like? 
What does love look like? is the question I’ve been asking of You.

Once believed that love was romance, just a chance. 

I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful. 

I once believed that love was a momentary bliss, but love is more than this…” – Misty Edwards

Sometimes we don’t recognise Love, because “Love is hidden in plain sight”. It’s such a cliché, that I have not paused to ponder what “hidden in plain sight” really means. I loved this definition I came across online:

“It means that something is visible to a person but because… it is not where the person looking for it expects it to be, it is hard to locate. 

For example, I was looking in my bookshelves for a book by a particular author. I thought the book had a red cover, so I was looking for a red cover. I was wrong; it had a white cover. I probably glanced at the book 3 or 4 times without recognizing it. It was hidden (meaning I didn’t recognize it) in plain sight (it was perfectly visible).”

That got me thinking.

Is it possible that we become so attached to what Love must look like, that we become blind to what Love really looks like, when it’s always been there, right in front of us? 

Love is hidden, only because I didn’t recognize it, when it is right in front of me. 

Still, “What does Love look like?” 

“…most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in it, and dying without ever truly discovering it.” – Leo Buscaglia

Last night, A and I agreed that there is no one definition to Love. Question is, can we recognise Love when it’s right in front of us? Our eyes need cleansing, to truly see.

For that cleansing to happen, sometimes we need to face some painful truths about ourselves. This morning, an inconvenient truth became apparent: “I am A Terrible Friend.” I began to see I have been Projecting on my friends, my own Shadows.

“I realized that I only judged people when they displayed a quality I could not accept in myself… 

Hold your hand straight out in front of you and point at someone. Notice that you have one finger pointing at them and three fingers pointing back at yourself. This can serve as a reminder that when we are blaming others we are only denying an aspect of ourselves.

The process of hiding and denying parts of myself began to seem almost comical once I realized all the energy I was using in order to not be a certain kind of person.” – Debbie Ford, ‘The Dark Side of The Light Chasers.

Trying so hard to not be “A Terrible Friend” was draining me of my energy. I have been so focussed on looking like “A Good Friend” that I haven’t been completely true to myself and others.

When the revelation that “I Am A Terrible Friend” hit me, it felt like a pin had pricked an overly inflated balloon, stretched beyond its means. Ready or not, that stab of truth had punched a hole on my defensive walls and masks, and all that pent up negative energy from not being true to myself was finally finding release.

In the process, I felt lighter, and lighter, and lighter… Who knew, owning up to the fact that “I Am A Terrible Friend” could be so liberating? In the light of this truth, I felt free to drop the need to look good. And I found the courage I needed, to take the steps forward to grow my friendships, at the risk of looking like “a terrible friend”.

This revelation that “I Am A Terrible Friend” also opened my eyes to the reason why I’ve kept these friends in my life. It’s because “My Terrible Friends” have, at some point or another, demonstrated that they are also “My Fiercely Loving Friends.”

Fierce Love isn’t cotton candies.

It shows up when I’m messed up. It sounds offensive, annoying and stern. And it’s a hard, bitter pill to swallow sometimes.

Fierce Love is a friend, who keeps his car engine running in the parking lot, getting all worked up as he’s giving me a long lecture about my worth and lack of self-love.

Fierce Love is that friend sending me an angry text, demanding to know why I went partying without him and got so drunk. He’s mad he wasn’t there to take care of me when I made a fool of myself.

Fierce Love is the cousin, who’s strong enough to show me tough love, when I was in a state where I was the toughest to love. I was up to my neck in muck and too proud to admit it, but she waded in, in the midst of that and held up a mirror, high and clear. Sure, I felt like stinking shit after that, but in her other hand was Unconditional Love.

Fierce Love is the girlfriend who yells at me, fearing for my safety and insisting on driving me home, even though I think I’m sober enough to commute back on my own.

Fierce Love is the girlfriend who shouts at me to get a hold of myself, when I was falling apart and didn’t know any other way.

Fierce Love is the friend who kicked me out of his home when I was a bulimic at 17, and used his bathroom to puke. I thought it was funny. He made it clear it wasn’t.

Fierce Love is all the ways my friends continued loving me, in the limited ways they knew how, when I didn’t love myself enough and didn’t know any better.

Fierce Love is a lot of work. They were willing to put in the work. So will I.

This is how I know what Love is.

It just takes Courage, to see.

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Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Love can be found in the person we find the hardest to love.”

“Love can be found in the person we find the hardest to love.”

This thought just came to mind, seemingly out of nowhere. It’s coming for a reason. 

I resent it. 
I resist it. 

But I can’t stop the Awareness…

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“Love can be found in the person we find the hardest to love.”

Just think about that.

ps: …the person we find the hardest to love, includes ourselves. Love You.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture