Recognizing Love–Wherever, Whenever, Whomever.

“Love is always coming at us, in one form or another—sometimes from friends, sometimes from family, sometimes from strangers we may only know in passing…

The only question is whether or not we’re also able to recognize and really receive it.” – Lori Deschene

For the longest time in my life, I was not able to recognize Love. I could only define it within the context of a relationship, between a boy and a girl. This limited scope of love was not only unhealthy and untrue, it was crippling–both to myself and the person I was in a relationship with.

It’s like living with blindness and being confined to a small space.

So imagine waking up one day, suddenly able to see and set free!

The situation that forced me to wake up and see was a heartbreaking one. But in hindsight, it was an absolutely necessary one, and about time.

I will never forget that day. It was the night of Christmas, 2010. As my aunt held my hands in silence, I rested my head on her shoulders and cried. As the tears flowed, it began to wash the veil off my eyes.

After all those years of not seeing, I was finally recognizing Love, in all the ways Love could look like–not just how I thought it should be. I was receiving Love, in every way it was coming at me–not just through a boy.

It was in the midst of a heart break, that True Love found its way through. That crack became the door way, for Love Unconditional.

It was  a pure moment of liberation and light. The best gift I ever received–and I am still unwrapping it, day after day after day.

Just this morning, I received Love, in liquid form.

All that was requested was a pot of porridge. My grandmother’s remedy of calming the stomache by drinking porridge water worked the last time.

It was a big surprise then, when Y came upstairs, with a jug filled with porridge water, and an empty glass. “Ini air dia, kak,” she said to me.

Meaning, “Here’s the water, Kak.” (Kak means elder sister in Indonesian and Bahasa Melayu, but it is also a respectful way of addressing another.)

How sweet! I did not ask that of her. I would’ve done it myself. But as always, every now and then, she Gifts us what is unexpected of her. And that is what Love is. It comes to you, freely, willingly, unexpectedly.

So to me, this morning, “Ini air dia, kak,” means I Love You.

How nice it is, to be able to hear I Love You, in all the ways that it’s being said, without the limitation of those three words. The world–our experience of it and the people in it–is far more wonder-full for it!

And perhaps in the end, part of our recovery lies not so much in the remedies, but in the extra loving we receive during such a time.

The question is, have we been recognizing Love–wherever, whenever, whomever?

If not, perhaps this quote by Rumi will come in as a good reminder: “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” 

ps: My kind of love song! “When the love in you brings out the love in me, I want to thank you for who you choose to be.” – Avasa & Matty Love




“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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