“Believe In A Love That Is Stored Up For You Like An Inheritance.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Today, if you’re tired from the pain, anger, struggle and sorrow. If you’re longing for peace and quiet, in the midst of the noise, conflicts, and anxieties that are stirring up a storm within. Return to an awareness, of Love. Return to the Resting place of Love, within you.

Return to a knowing that there’s a wealth of Love stored up for you like an inheritance. Draw from this Love that resides within you.

Enter into a moment of silence and stillness. You can do this anywhere, anytime, by cultivating an Awareness. Listen in. Can you hear Love’s invitation to you, from within? “Rest your bones with me. Take all your tired and weary sighs, and rest your bones with Me.” – Reblog from an original posting on 24.04.13, on The Love Culture

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“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…”

That’s the thought that crossed my mind, as I took a quiet walk through the showroom upstairs, where urns of crystal jades or biodegradable orbs are displayed like a private collection of exotic pots and prized vases.

As a writer, it’s important for me to get a feel of this place. It’s my client’s business afterall. My colleagues are downstairs having a meeting in Mandarin. For the millionth time, I wished I could comprehend the language. But for now, I am free to explore this building on my own.

As a centre of funeral and bereavement care, I think they’ve done a commendable job. The attention to details, aesthetics, and ambience, are thoughtfully combined to create a serene atmosphere for the grieving.

“Bones and ashes… bones and ashes… one day, I’ll be bones and ashes…”

The chandeliers above and the orchids in the corner creates a sense of beauty and familiarity, like you’ve walked into a living room from an I.D magazine, and yet, the mahagony casket with ‘The Last Supper’ finishing or the solid bed of bronze reminds you that this is a departure lounge.

I think about regrets… and how one day it won’t matter anymore. One day, I’ll be bones and ashes… This pain… anger… struggle… sorrow… all that noise churning up a storm within… one day, it will all be quiet.

One day, all these will pale in comparison to Having Loved and Being Loved. But somedays, sometimes, it gets hard to believe that love is all.

“I feel like I have nothing… I am nothing,” said a friend once.

Her words are not hers alone. I am all too familiar with that feeling and I believe the same fear is quietly weighing on the hearts of many. Over the years, I’ve been tracing this fear and feelings of insignificance back to my false assumptions of what Love and Happiness should look and be like.

Loosing that attachment to the appearances of things, and being open to Love as it presents itself in all its ways and form have been liberating.

The truth is, right here, right now, we have Everything because of Love.

This Love,

is in us to grow, is for us to live, and is ours to gift as we choose.

The daily challenge is for us to come into remembrance of our inheritance.

“Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.

Love,

Mish.

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE

I saw a posting on my timeline today, with a horrific picture of victims sprawled on the ground, splattered in blood, with this caption, “Dead. Students. Kenya. They didn’t draw offensive cartoons. They’re just kids in Africa so who cares?”

Essentially, the person / group posting this, is asking, “World, do you care about us? If you do, why don’t you say something? We want to know that you care. We want to know that we matter, too.”

What the person / group is asking for, is what every human being desires, as well. We desire to know our worth, purpose and significance. We desire to know if our absence or presence makes a difference to anyone, anywhere. We desire to know we are loved.

Perhaps when they made that angry statement “They’re just kids in Africa so who cares?” they’re directing it to the seemingly lack of worldwide outrage. Perhaps the visible difference in the world’s reaction between the two tragedies, hurts. Especially at a time when they’re in need of comfort.

Here’s the thing with living in the age of the internet and social media. We fall into the trap of thinking that the more something is posted and shared and talked about, the more people care, and the more it is worth caring about. But that can’t always be true. We must never base our worth on these things, and we must always remember that we are loved, more than we would ever know, and more than others could ever show.

ALL LIVES MATTER.
We must BELIEVE that.
We must KNOW it within.

If we are living this truth, the way we speak for these victims who are forever silenced, will be different too. We speak from a place of knowing.

Instead of accusing the world of not caring,
Now can be the time to remind the world,
“We need you NOW. Can we join heads and hearts 
and find a RESOLUTION for humanity’s problem?”

Know that SILENCE is a way of expressing solidarity, sadness and care, as well. There are NO WORDS that could do justice to the victims of this tragedy. Taking the time to SHUT UP, to seriously think about the state of humanity, and to dig deep within to unearth that agent of change that is already in each of us, is more important than giving more press time to these agents of evil, taking sick pleasure in gaining attention through forced violence and death. They, too, want to be seen and heard. But let’s not follow them down their unconscious path towards blind hatred.

GRAB HOLD of your ANGER, Kenya. 
GRAB HOLD of your PAIN, World.
Never let them grab hold of you. 

Grab hold of it like a wild dog on leash and let it run, let it lead you forward into greener pastures of Growth. NOW is the time to get good and angry. Now is the time to want CHANGE so badly that YOU become the agent of change for the future. NOW is the time to remember YOU Are Love. YOU have the power to release it. And YOU have the power to choose LIFE.

Some of us have been brainwashed to think that it’s okay to kill others to enforce their beliefs on others. YOU get to choose to raise yourself—and the future generation—to think differently. To Live and BE differently.

It begins with you. It begins with me. It begins with us.

And we can begin by learning how to ask for Love 
without accusing and blaming and stirring more hate.

Love is our birthright. We don’t have to convince anyone that we deserve it. But in times of deep pain, we  tend to forget the truth we already know.

So here’s a reminder, KENYA.
You are loved, beyond measure.
We SEE you… STAY STRONG.

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
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www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“You have GREATNESS within you, and responsibility to manifest that greatness!” – Les Brown

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Life is not so much about “Mission Accomplished,” as it is “Mission Accepted.” It is an Invitation to Dance. Loosen up a little. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake stop you from trying.

“I had hoped to end this book on a triumphant note… Unfortunately, such a tale, while possibly uplifting and feel-good, would have to be filed in the fiction aisles. For much of the writing of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts I continued to relapse: bingeing and lying, shamed and hollow.” – Dr. Gabor Maté.

Dr. Maté goes on to say that it wasn’t until recently that he would clean up his act. But rather than shout, “Mission Accomplished!” He says, “Mission Accepted” would be more accurate (reference: Dr. Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, p 349).

As I read this, I realised this sounds so much like me. And what a relief.

I, too, was hoping to end my book on a triumphant note, a “Happily Ever After”. I’m thinking when life starts to fall smoothly into place, and when every little dream and desires are fulfilled, and everything is in the order of perfection, THEN I’ll be happy. THEN I’ll have something to shout about.

As we all know (and yet, how often we forget), life doesn’t quite work out like that. If we go by that definition, we’ll end up waiting our whole lives.

We are not called to Perfection. We are called to WHOLENESS. And that means, we’re not just called to live the Good Life, but a life that is made of the Not-So-Good, as well. Wisdom, is born of Pain. It’s how we learn, it’s how we grow. And for most of us, it’s the only time we’d ever learn or grow! We need the darkness, as much as the light. It’s what makes us WHOLE and complete.

I am reminded of this, when I read Dr. Mate’s bold and honest statement.

I am reminded that instead of my “triumphant note”, I’ve progressed, and regressed, one step forward, two steps back… then step up again.

Doesn’t it sound like a dance?

Two steps forward, three steps back,

One step forward, then another, and back again.

Then forth, then back, and back and forth we go, twirling around in this dance of life.

A friend once shared his observation, “You’re going in circles!” And he meant it as a friendly warning, to bring to my awareness my life’s pattern.

There was a time where I feared my own regressions and mistakes. But I’ve come to the point where I recognise something else, besides fear.

The two steps back keeps me humble and compassionate. The one step forward again, fills me with Faith, Hope, and Love, giving me strength for the long journey ahead.

Perhaps, this is the reason why out of the 6 books I had hoped to purchase recently, 2 of my orders were cancelled by the bookstore. I felt a mix of disappointment and amusement. Both the books that happened to be unavailable were, ‘The Dance of the Dissident Daughter’ by Sue Monk Kidd and ‘The Dance’ by Oriah. Is it mere coincidence that both titles with the words ‘dance’ in it were not making it’s way to me? It could be.

But I know that I didn’t specifically select these books for the theme on dancing. I merely wanted to complete my collection of Sue Monk Kidd’s memoirs, and Oriah’s series of books. So I ordered whatever I didn’t have.

Today, I’m beginning to see that this incident is not a sign that my invitation to the dance of life has been cancelled! Rather, it is an Invitation. It is drawing me to the word Dance, as I yearn to be whole.

In a dance, and in dancing, it’s important to maintain a certain tension (arm tension, core tension), and yet, to be graceful, we are to loosen up.

This is not an easy thing to do. One seems to be the opposite of the other!

I remember going to a Tango Open Day, to watch my friend dance. The instructor, in the hopes of recruiting new students, began drawing the audience, one by one, to the dance floor. I was chewing bubblegum, to hide that I was feeling terrified! I was hoping she wouldn’t pick me, but she did, and I did what I could, and was pretty happy with myself by the end of it.

Moments later, that silly smile from conquering my fear would be wiped off my face. Apparently, the instructor had whispered into the ears of the guy she pulled to dance after me, and said, “You’re a better dancer than that girl. She’s so stiff, she can’t dance… But you, you’re a natural.”

I had thought of enrolling in her class. As you can imagine, when said guy relayed the information to me, I was crushed, and never saw her again.

I should’ve known that what happened that night, speaks volumes about the instructor, too. She looked so beautiful and elegant for her old age, with her grey-white hair slicked back into a bun. And her movements were as fluid as any sweet young things. But even at that age, she had not grown comfortable in her own skin. If she was, she would’ve recognised my stiffness as a sign of discomfort, and saw a young girl with no confidence.

If she was sure in herself, she would’ve taken that opportunity to speak words of encouragement, leading me to bring out the dancer in me.

Everyone can dance.

But she didn’t believe that. And I didn’t believe that. She needed to cling to her superiority. And I was too busy clinging to my inferiority. I think we both could learn how to Loosen Up a little.

I watched the Tango Scene in the Scent of a Woman last week. The blind man, Frank Slade, asked Donna to dance. Donna’s response is natural. She speaks for most of us when she said, “Ah, I think I’d be a little afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Afraid of making a mistake.”

“No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life… If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, you just tango on. Why don’t you try?” Slade is persistent in his invitation, “You’ll try it?” Donna responds with courage, daring to make a silly mistake. “All right. I’ll give it a try.”

The Hope, is in the trying. Remember, Life is not so much “Mission Accomplished,” as it is “Mission Accepted.” It is an Invitation to Dance… Loosen Up. Don’t let the fear of making a mistake stop you from trying.

Love,

Mish.

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Pretty bird, why do you hide your head and cry? Lie awake and you’ll find love waiting.” – Bruno Merz

Lele’s Song – Words and music by Bruno Merz

“Far away, ends a summer day.
And the breeze it carries your quiet sigh.

‘Cos you’re tired today, and sleep won’t come,
Pretty bird, why do you hide your head and cry.

Ooh, there is a love that stays now.
Ooh, let it all fly away now.
Ooh, lie awake and you’ll find love waiting.

Little one, how far you’ve come,
Down a path that never was an easy one.
So rest your head, come lay it down.
Hear the wind calling you to fly the moonlit clouds.”

 Love,

Mish
—
The Love Culture
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www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Life is an Invitation to Grow. Turn your Struggle into Strength, Pain into Gain.

Today, I am recommitted to turning my Struggle into Strength, and my Pain into Gain. I feel motivated as I regain the clarity that Life is an Invitation to Grow.

It took days and weeks and months of struggling to return to this point of awareness. For the longest time, I’ve been struggling with the question, “Why me?”

Why am I caught in a bad situation I can’t seem to walk away from, since “the situation” involves family? Why does the suffering never end, and why can’t things ever be “normal” for us? Why are we being stretched to the limit and challenged in the areas of Addiction?

It’s heartbreaking. But it’s undeniable we’ve also been pushed harder and deeper to higher and stronger levels of Growth we never would’ve gotten on our own, had there not been an urgent, painful, and pressing need to.

Meanwhile, as the wrestling with the Pain of my life continues, my friend, too, shared her struggle with the card she’s been dealt with in her life.

“Why do others have it so much easier? Why must I have it so much harder? Why do some people  get everything without even trying as hard? Why must I keep on waiting? How much longer? It’s not fair.”

I understand her pain. It’s true the world’s unfair. But though we can’t always choose what we’re given in life, we get to make the best out of what we’ve got. It is a powerful choice. And as of Sunday, it became clear again:

My battle ground is also my training ground.

I can make full use of this challenge I am up against to gain more awareness on the areas of Addiction. In time to come, this awareness will help me with my own personal Addictions, and countless more out there.

Our Awakening, awakens others. In this way, the Awakening continues.

But it begins with us stepping up to the plate. Daring to risk the fear and discomfort of “facing the dragon”, instead of running away from dealing with what may feel like the toughest, most miserable time of our lives.

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What struggles are you up against this week? What challenges are finding its way to you? What pain are you forced to grapple with? Could it be Life’s Invitation for you to Grow? Whatever situation you find yourself stuck in, you still get to choose. Choose to grab hold of it until you learn something from it. Choose to grow even better from it.

Choose GROWTH. Choose Life. Chose You.

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Addiction is always a poor substitute for love.” – Dr. Gabor Maté

Addiction is always a poor substitute for love. – Dr. Gabor Maté, In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, p 259

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Our most painful emotions point to our greatest possibilities, to where our authentic nature is hidden.” – Dr. Gabor Maté

“Once a student’s eyes are open, instructors appear everywhere. Everything can teach us. Our most painful emotions point to our greatest possibilities, to where our authentic nature is hidden.

People who we judge are our mirrors. People who judge us call forth our courage to respect our own truth.

Compassion for ourselves supports our compassion for others.

As we open to the truth within, we hold safe a space of healing for others. They may do the same for us.

Healing occurs in a sacred place located within us all: “When you know yourselves, then you will be known.” – Dr. Gabor Maté, In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, p 421

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“…no human being is ever beyond redemption.” – Dr. Gabor Maté

“Not every story has a happy ending, … but the discoveries of science, the teachings of the heart, and the revelations of the soul all assure us that no human being is ever beyond redemption. The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.

How to support that possibility in others and in ourselves is the ultimate question.” ― Dr. Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

Love,
Mish
—
The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“When you don’t know how to say no, your body will say it for you.” – Dr. Gabor Maté

“When you don’t know how to say no, your body will say it for you.” – Dr. Gabor Maté. “When we have a symptom, or an illness, it’s not enough to say ‘How do I get rid of this? How do I wage a battle against this?’.

There’s another way to look at it.

…Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They’re actually yours. They’re specifically yours, designed specifically for you, by a part of you that loves you more than anything else.

The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You’re not going in the right direction and there’s something pricking you on the side that says, ‘Look Here. This way.’

The part of you that loves you so much, that doesn’t want you to lose that chance, will go to extreme measures to wake you up. It will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen.

What else can it do? That’s its purpose.

…Most of the stress of human beings are emotional ones. And the biggest stress of all is trying to be who you’re not. 

So the maintenance of health really depends on knowing who you are, getting in touch with your body, getting in touch with your self, being mindful of all that, and honoring who you are.” 

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The Love Culture
www.facebook.com/theloveculture
www.theloveculture.wordpress.com

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture