“He knows the extreme of my depravity, which I cannot exaggerate, yet He still sees the heights of sincerity and virtue in me.” – Misty Edwards

“Even I cannot convince Him of how bad I am. No one can. I can’t convince Him of how good I am. No one can. He does not change His opinion of me by my words or the words that men speak about me. Even the best of men can be swayed, but He can’t.

This gives me both confidence and comfort knowing that He knows the extreme of my depravity, which I cannot exaggerate, yet He still sees the heights of sincerity and virtue in me. Only with God do the two extremes coexist in the process of maturing. Only God truly knows us.”- Misty Edwards

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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Daring Greatly Begins With Daring NOT To Be Great

Knocking on doors. Sharing my life’s work. Opening myself up to criticism. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Not hiding. Sending out emails and realizing later there were typo errors, things that could’ve been worded differently or best left unsaid. All of that, left me feeling the fear, uncertainty and discomfort of Vulnerability.

To allow myself to be in that Vulnerable place, has not been easy. I am scared. But I am also curious enough. However the response pans out, for better or worse, I know in the least I gave myself that chance by taking the first step. Now, I get to see what’s next.

Meanwhile, I get to wait.

And it is in the midst of waiting, that I am learning more about what it means to be Vulnerable. My inner critic is saying, “Look at your mistakes! It would’ve been better if you kept quiet. Or waited. Or perfected. Anything but doing what you did!” But my inner best friend is quoting Maya Angelou, “I did then what I know how. When I know better, I do better, that’s all.” So my inner best friend is cheering me on for trying.

Today, I wanted to understand more about Vulnerability.

What is its role in our life, our work and in our success?

So I looked up Brené Brown and came across a vid of her talking about Daring Greatly. I am resonating so much with everything she shared!

“I was in an incredibly difficult place. I was trying to show up in my work, and put myself out there. I was writing a lot and talking a lot about my research. And I felt like the more I did that, the more exposed I felt, the more afraid I felt and the more I was constantly ducking… criticism.

And I come across this quote by Theodore Roosevelt.

“It’s not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deed could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who’s actually in the arena, who’s face is marred by dust and blood and sweat, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again. 

Who at best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement. 

Who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

I know that there’s a myth that vulnerability is weakness. But it’s not. To show up, to let ourselves be seen. To try. To put ourselves out there when we’re not sure we’re going to succeed. That’s vulnerability. And that’s daring greatly. 

To bust through the fear of not being enough. 
Of not being perfect enough. Of not being bullet proof enough. 
Of the fear of failing… 

…The question is, what’s worth doing, even if I fail?” – Rene Brown, author of Daring Greatly.

Thinking these two words over and over again. Daring greatly. Daring greatly. Daring greatly. I began to realize that daring greatly begins with daring to NOT be great.

Daring to be imperfect. Daring to be seen, flaws and all. Daring to put yourself out there.

The hope is in not having to go through this alone.

“(It’s) Very necessary to have people in our lives, who, when we’re vulnerable, when we try something new, and it doesn’t work out, and it comes out short, who are willing to look at us and say, that you were brave,” Brené Brown, The Power of Being Vulnerable. 

“A group of people who… made an agreement… that we would be vulnerable and brave together… we would create a space where we never have to shrink. Who are really proud of what we’re doing and our successes. And we would never have to puff up when we’re feeling small and ashamed. That we were all going to be brave together…” Brené Brown

Do you have people in your life, who you can be vulnerable and brave with? Can others be vulnerable and brave, with you?

Lastly, a good reminder:

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” – Brené Brown

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Journey To The Past & Imperfection…

Part of discovering and embracing the person that you are NOW, means remembering the person that you WERE

…that is where I’m stuck.

I observe with both horror and amusement, the pounding fear and panic that is growing louder and harder with each successive Likes and comments pouring in on Facebook for the pictures labelled GLAM.

Even as I’m writing this, the likes won’t stop flooding in! On other days, I’ll be loving the likes, but as about now, the likes are driving me nuts!

That photo-shoot was done in 2010. Barely a year ago. And yet, as I look at those pictures, I wonder who’s that girl?

I’m not so sure if I’m willing to wear that gold sequin dress again… I’m not so sure if I like that giant faux diamond ring, still… I’m not so sure if I’m into this whole loud, glam, and shiny look anymore.

I may in the future. Maybe this is just a phase. But I’m not so sure now.

What I AM sure about, is that I’m not liking the unexpected attention.

And I’m wondering why?

I want to tell these people, no, no, no! Don’t like it! Don’t say anything!

With every Like, I feel like a pressurised volcano driven to explosion. And as the lava of tears are flowing, I am wondering what my strong emotions are really saying to me?

…deleting the album won’t solve anything.

As I spent a moment in silence and tears, I realised, what’s really freaking me out at this moment is a whole bunch of things, but mainly, my journeying into the past…

…and having a tonne of people watching me as I do it.

I’ve spent a good whole year running from my past.

All I want, is a clear look at my future but always at the back of my mind, were all my unfinished business.

ROX/STA… and the remaining dresses that have yet to be altered to be photographed to be sold. The website. The halfway written book… always the halfway written book!

It’s so much easier to just say goodbye to it all and start anew.

But I can’t deny there are 441 drafts of my book lying around, each page swimming with words and thoughts and stories just waiting to be shared.

I can’t deny that my heart still skips a beat, when Rae & May inquired on my ROX/STA dresses today…

So where do I go from here?

I don’t know… I’m still lost.

As I sifted through my old files looking for answers, I posted these pictures up, not expecting the kind of reaction it has triggered–in others and especially, in myself.

Each time somebody clicks Like on my old ‘me’ and my mind is yelling “This isn’t me anymore!” I feel like shutting down facebook to hide.

My plans, my priorities, my perspectives have shifted. My whole world’s changed. I have changed–I don’t know what to do with the New-Me yet.

I love her. But I also want the old me, to be loved–by me.

It gets a bit hard when lately, everyone’s been telling me they like me so much more now, that I’m so different now, that I’m better now, more beautiful now, more caring now, more everything now…

On one hand, I am happy. On the other, it’s human to think of the negative and wonder if I wasn’t lovable before?

That frame of mind puts me in a very bad place.

It’s time to switch over to a new perspective: The fact is, I AM better now.

And every person I meet, serves as a mirror, telling me so, though I’m not looking for it.

Instead of my failures, my past can now serve as a reminder of how far I’ve come. And in the midst of all this growing, I’ll always remember what a friend from Portugal once said to me, “Michelle, don’t be perfect.” 🙂

All my life I’ve struggled to be good enough. The break up last year have often left me feeling I’m still not good enough. But these gentle words always comes back to soothe me to a place of peace and calm…

“…don’t be perfect.”

And that, my lovers, is the truth.

No matter what journey you’re on, past, present or future, always remember, we’re human. We make mistakes, but that’s how we learn and grow. Embrace your imperfection. At all times, you are loved, as you are.

“…don’t be perfect.”

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture