Grief & Loss

“Loss is a place where self-knowledge & powerful transformation can happen–if we have the courage to participate fully in the process.

We all face many ‘deaths’ within our lives.The choice is whether these deaths will be terminal (crushing our spirit & life) or will open us up to new possibilities & depths of transformation.”– Peter Szazzero.


It’s been some time–more than a year for Pumpkin and Ponyo, and nearly a year, for Patches and Peaches. And yet, I can’t get over the fact that they’re gone now. I think about them often and miss them badly.

They’re my pet Goldfish by the way, the best of their kind–besides Pebbles.

I feel like I failed the four of them. I wish I could turn back time and do better. As always, all I’m left with is a sense of remorse and deep regret…

…There is nothing I could do to bring them back now. No second chances.

I’ve often responded with tears and sadness–nothing more, nothing less.

But in the quiet of my morning devotion, while nursing the aching I felt…

…I heard this gentle question again, “Can YOU forgive YOU?”

As I pondered that question… I realised that my answer is No.

I could’ve saved their lives. There were so many things I could’ve done and should’ve known. They were so full of life, so full of love, and brought so much happiness into my life. Look what I did to them… It’s all my fault!

I am not ready to forgive me yet… I don’t want me to forget.

…Then, I heard a gentle answer within, “You know you Loved them.”

“Think about all the times you spent trying to make them happy.

Think about that trip to Singapore just to get Patches medicine.

Don’t you see a girl who tried her best? Love her… forgive her.”


I really didn’t want to… but I know I owe it to myself to at least try.

By the end of that few minutes of trying, the tears stopped flowing.

…I’m not sure if  I’ve fully forgiven myself.

But the next time I miss them–before sending me packing on a guilt trip–I’ll remember a very important question, “Can YOU forgive YOU?”




“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB:

Love More

I went to sleep last night in a pile of tears, nose all stuffed up and with a bad tummy ache like I’ve just been kicked in the stomach–‘cos that’s what hurtful words do. As I reflected on what I could have done to warrant such an angry reaction from someone, I saw my contribution to it, accepted my share of responsibility for it and apologised.

Gotta love Jesus for being so plain about this in Matt 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” It’s so easy to point out the flaw in others but we all need a look in the mirror–beginning with Me, Myself and I.

As I spent some time thinking of the person I have unintentionally but obviously hurt, I asked in prayer, “What can I do, to regain the love and respect from someone I love?” The immediate answer was simply this: “Love more.”

Everyday, we face our own battles. In the midst of that, there will be hurtful things said out of anger. It’s so easy to fight back, but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. When you’ve done your best to resolve it, the only thing left to do is to “Love More”.

It’s not easy, but it’ll be worth it.

It’s so much easier to hold a grudge, but all it does is keep you stuck. It makes you the prisoner. Let go. Forgive. “Love More.” It’s the best thing you can do for yourself–it sets you free to love and free to live.

This morning, Mariah, an awesome friend of mine, sent me a video link, saying “You will love this! FREEEDOMMM!”

As I watched it, I felt so much Joy from being a witness to something so beautiful so I’m going to share it here! Watch the sheeeeer happiness of the Humpback whale after it’s been set free–that’s what love does! Be inspired! 🙂

Love MORE,



“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: