Rediscover a Home within a home, where Love is, always.

Home is where the love is. But isn’t it just as true that home is where the pain is?

Do you remember a time when home was the last place you wanted to be?

Perhaps home was a source of love, but it was also a great source of pain–more than you know how to handle at that time. But NOW in this present moment, where are you choosing to be? 

There is a proverb that says, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

And wherever you are, you’ll find that your heart is always longing to go home. But where exactly is home when we don’t feel at home right where we are? There is a reason for this perpetual inner state of homelessness. Remember, it has nothing to do with anyone or anything on the external.

The answer lies within.

If we allow it, we will be led on a journey to find a Home away from home. To a place of deepest acceptance within, where our longing for belonging is received and embraced. An everlasting Home that can never be touched, shaken or broken from the outside. It’s built on the inside.

But in between the journey of leaving home to find our Home where the heart is, along the way, we become home sick. In our desperate and in-born desire to feel at home again, we find ourselves impatient to get there. We find ourselves a little too eager to announce “we’ve arrived”.

We make a home in the temporal shelters of things, mistaking it for Home.  As long as we try to feel at home through things of the external, instead of the Eternal within, this feeling of “being home” will never last.

Home is where the Love is.

Love is where the Home is.

If you’re Lost, the way Home is where your heart is, where Love can be Found “in here”.

“In here”, there’s no need to perform or inform to be seen and heard.

“In here”, we can curl up in the palm of God, and rest in the silent night of unknowing, finding calm, light, and peace in the midst of dark moments.

HomeIsWhereTheLovePainIs

“In here”, we regain the courage we need to face our own brokenness.

The reality of a broken home, a broken family, a broken marriage, broken hearts and broken relationship is messy. We can choose to runaway from facing our mess or we can choose to go Home, even if it looks like the aftermath of a warzone, because that’s where Love can be found. Our inner grounds of devastation can be the solid rock bottom on which we build a strong new foundation for our lives. Layer by layer, we can arise again, supported and grounded by the firm and steady pillars of Love.

No matter what happens “out there” or how far we’ve strayed or where we are now, we can rediscover a Home within a home, where Love is, always. To this Home, we can return to. So let’s get ready to come Home.

Love, Mish

FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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“The Growth of one blesses all. I am committed to grow in Love.” – Julia Cameron

Keep It Real… in running and in loving. Learning how it actually works, can prevent damaging injuries. The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Running is easy, right? Just run! Loving is easy right? Just love! Right. Keep thinking that… 

Recent research has shown that as many as 79% of runners get injured at least once during the year. Stop. Think about that number for a moment. Nearly 8 out of every 10 runners you see at your next race have been or will be injured sometime that year.” – runnersconnect.com

There is 1 divorce in Malaysia every 10 minutes13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012, and so on and so forth. You get the picture.

We’re aware of these statistics, yet for some reason, we like to kid ourselves and think we’ll be the only exception and defy the odds.

This article by Jason Fitzgerald on 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle paints a true picture of what happens when we approach running–and I’ll add LOVING–with this kind of mindset:

“Flash back ten years ago: I was tearing through 80 mile weeks as a cocky 19 year old. But disaster was right around the corner.

I really had no idea what I was doing. My college coach gave us flexibility with our mileage and I was running too much, too soon, too fast. The “little things” that help you stay healthy were an afterthought…

So I ran myself into the ground. I reached 90 miles per week and then was forced to recover (slowly) from IT band syndrome.

This was after chronic Achilles tendinopathy ruined my spring track season. Later that year I’d have a string of other injuries.

I was locked in the injury cycle and had no idea what to do. It was frustrating; I thought I was doing everything right…” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Doesn’t this sound familiar?

When it comes to Love, can we admit we actually have no idea what we are doing? We get the idea from Hollywood that we’re going to be okay. Our ego tells us we can handle it. Our friends tells us it should be like this and that. And the message that we get all around is that it’s all fun and games. So we get into relationships too much, too soon, too fast. We end up running ourselves into the ground. Get our hearts broken. Get better. Then get our hearts broken again. It’s a cycle of heartbreak and pain!

If you’re SANE enough to be frustrated from years of chronic heartbreaks and you’re ready for a change, now’s the time to learn.

I love how Jason’s reality check for runners, applies to us all, as lovers:

“I could be your cheerleader and tell you that running is all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

But it’s not. Running is hard. It’s a contact sport between you and the ground and it can cause some serious damage.

My job is to help you become a better runner – healthier, faster, stronger, and free of injuries. Sometimes that means being brutally honest. And many of you are wildly impatient.

Good runners think long-term and put in the work month after month. They don’t care that they’re not ready to race this weekend – they’re more interested in building the fitness they need six months from now.

It’s a different mindset, but it’s often the difference between those who are chronically injured and consistently healthy.” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Loving is hard.

It’s not all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

It’s time to become brutally honest with yourself and practice patience. Think long-term and be willing to put in the work. Build the mental and emotional fitness you need to form healthy, loving, relationships.

In the past, I’ve done many things without putting in the work needed to learn how it works. I was more in love with the idea of it, than the reality of what it is and what it entails. As a result, I went through unnecessary complications, problems and pain. Sure, that’s how we learn, but some things can be avoided. Some fatal mistakes, we can’t afford to make.

I just started running.

I love how YouTube is full of tutorials on it. One of it says to film your run, so you can see your running posture, and correct from there. So I did, and spotted many things I could improve on. I’m glad I didn’t feel as awful as I did in my last run. My friend’s breathing tips made a world of difference. And there are plenty of videos on injury prevention and good running techniques I’ll need to watch and learn before my next run.

It’s all in the learning first, then practice.

It’s the same with Love.

Erich Fromm, Leo Buscaglia, and Gary Chapman are all saying the same thing. We need to study Love, and learn how it works, in order to Love ourselves and others, well. We need to get our heads out of the clouds and get a reality check on what love is and what it really requires.

“Much of the pain in broken relationships in our world stems from the truth that many of us have never been serious students of love. We haven’t taken it seriously enough to learn how it actually works.” – Gary Chapman

“Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.” – Erich Fromm

“Somehow or rather we all believe that all of the things we need to become lovers and to form relationships, are already in us. And all we have to do to realise it is to get to be a certain age, and there they are. You know if that were true, the statistics I presented to you will not be there.

Certainly you have a great potential to be a great lover, and it’s always there. I don’t care how old you are… But somewhere along the line, you’ve got to encounter it.You’ve got to take it seriously. You’ve got to embrace it in your arms.

You’ve got to ask questions like, ‘How does it happen? How does one do it?  How does one continue to grow in Love?’ It doesn’t just happen.” – Leo Buscaglia 

Love well. Do your homework.
Do your homework. Run well.

Keep it real.

The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Love,

Mish.

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“…hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love…This attitude–that nothing is easier than to love–has continued to be the prevalent idea… in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.” – Erich Fromm

“…hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love. This peculiar attitude is based on several premises which either singly or combined tend to uphold it.

Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.

Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths.

One, which is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful and rich as the social margin of one’s position permits.

Another, used especially by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one’s body, dress, etc.

Other ways of making oneself attractive, used both by men and women, are to develop pleasant manners, interesting conversation, to be helpful, modest, inoffensive.

Many of the ways to make oneself lovable are the same as those used to make oneself successful, “to win friends and influence people.”

As a matter of fact, what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.” – Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.

“A second premise behind the attitude that there is nothing to be learned about love is the assumption that the problem of love is the problem of an object, not the problem of a faculty.

People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love–or to be loved by–is difficult. This attitude has several reasons rooted in the development of modern society…

Our whole culture is based on the appetite for buying, on the idea of a mutually favorable exchange. Modern man’s happiness consists in the thrill of looking at the shop windows, and in buying all that he can afford to buy, either for cash or on installments.

He (or she) looks at people in a similar way. For the man an attractive girl–and for the woman an attractive man–are the prizes they are after.

“Attractive” usually means a nice package or qualities which are popular and sought after on the personality market.

…At any rate, the sense of falling in love develops usually only with regard to such human commodities as are within reach of one’s own possibilities for exchange.

The third error leading to the assumption that there is nothing to be learned about love lies in the confusion between the initial experience of “falling” in love, and the permanent state of being in love, or as we might better say, of “standing” in love.

If two people who have been strangers, as all of us are, suddenly let the wall between them break down, and feel close, feel one, this moment of oneness is one of the most exhilarating, most exciting experiences in life.

It is all the more wonderful and miraculous for persons who have been shut off, isolated, without love.

This miracle of sudden intimacy is often facilitated if it is combined with, or initiated by, sexual attraction and consummation.

However, this type of love is by its very nature not lasting.

The two persons become well acquainted, their intimacy loses more and more its miraculous character, until their antagonism, their disappointments, their mutual boredom kill whatever is left of the initial excitement.

Yet, in the beginning they do not know all this: in fact, they take the intensity of the infatuation, this being “crazy” about each other, for proof of the intensity of their love, while it may only prove the degree of their preceding loneliness.

This attitude–that nothing is easier than to love–has continued to be the prevalent idea about love in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.

If this were the case with any other activity, people would be eager to know the reasons for the failure, and to learn how one could do better–or they would give up the activity. Since the latter is impossible in the case of love, there seems to be only one adequate way to overcome the failure of love–to examine the reasons for this failure, and to proceed to study the meaning of love.

The first step to take is to become aware that love is an art, just as living is an art; if we want to learn how to love we must proceed in the same way we have to proceed if we want to learn any other art, say music, painting, carpentry, or the art of medicine or engineering…

…And, maybe, here lies the answer the question of why people in our culture try so rarely to learn this art, in spite of their obvious failures: in spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love: success, prestige, money, power–almost all our energy is used for the learning of how to achieve these aims, and almost none to learn the art of loving.

Could it be that only those things are considered worthy of being learned with which one can earn money or prestige, and that love, which “only” profits the soul, but is profitless in the modern sense, is a luxury we have no right to spend much energy on?” – Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

Love,

Mish.

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“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture