Wholehearted 2014

“Live and Love with my Wholeheart: Authenticity is a daily practice. Choosing Authenticity means… Cultivating the Courage to be Imperfect. To set Boundaries and allow ourselves to be Vulnerable.

Exercising the Compassion… that comes from knowing that… We are all made of Strength and Struggle… and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit.

Nurturing the connection and a sense of belonging… that can only happen when we Let Go of… What we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.

Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving. Even when it is hard… Even when we are wrestling with shame and fear… of not being good enough… and especially when the Joy is so intense… that we are afraid to let ourselves feel it…

Mindfully practising authenticity… during our most soul-searching struggles… is how we invite Grace, Joy & Gratitude into our lives. ” – Brené Brown

This morning, I received two mails in my inbox. The first was entitled “Crawling out of the whole”. The second mail entitled “Whole – hole”, was a short and embarrassed note to point out the apparent “mistake”.

I couldn’t help smiling and feeling this was no mistake at all.

Especially since the content of the mail could be summarised as a journey that progressed from being stuck and lost in darkness–just like being trapped in a hole–and coming out whole again.

And especially since my theme for this year is WHOLEHEARTED 2014.

I didn’t intend for this to be my “vision” for the year. But  when Brené Brown posted ‘Wishing you a blessed mess and a Wholehearted 2014’, the word Wholehearted leapt out at me, connected and stayed.

With wholeheartedness, I can Imagine bigger, bolder, wider, higher.

With wholeheartedness, I can challenge myself to give Life and Love MY ALL–even when it’s scary.

In return, giving my all will invite the kind of life and love experience I’ll be grateful for, knowing that I tried.

What’s inspiring is, everyone can make this their Wholehearted year.

This afternoon, I got into an interesting chat with Christelle on wholeheartedness vs halfheartness. It was insightful so we’re sharing:

“Any new year resolutions for 2014?” – C

“Yes. Wholehearted 2014! You?” – M

“Uhmms I actually don’t know of and don’t have any yet haha… but I hadn’t been wholehearted in 2013, now that you are sharing it… (I want) to learn from mistakes and be better!” – C

“Wow… that’s a powerful insight, if you feel that way about 2013… so now you get 2014 to give it your ALL. And yea, learning means growing. That’s good!” – M

“Yeahs to position myself where my heart lies. So I can be wholehearted with ease,” – C

“Position myself where my heart lies. What do you mean by that exactly…?” – M

“Uhmms hahah I find it hard to be wholehearted when my heart is somewhere else!

So I pray for opportunities where my heart is so I can be wholehearted. But I guess even if such opportunities don’t find me, I should be whole hearted too?

I didn’t realise that the very woes I was going through were due to me being halfhearted,” – C

It’s only the First Day of the New Year 2014. Be gentle with YOU as you do some soul-searching the next few days, weeks, months–all year long.

“I now see that cultivating a Wholehearted life is not like trying to reach a destination. It’s like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know that we’re heading in the right direction.” ― Brené Brown

Happy New Year and wishing you a WHOLEHEARTED 2014.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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Self-Love Means, I Will Not Betray Myself For Love Or Break The Promises I Make To Myself – My Actions Will Align With My Values And Beliefs

Have you ever considered this radical idea, that the worst betrayals you’ve ever experienced, are those which you are solely responsible for?

That instead of being ‘The Betrayed’,  you’ve switched roles to ‘The Betrayer’?

It’s an unsettling thought, but it can be a powerful one if you’re ready for it to release you from the role of the victim, to grow into the victor. One way to do that is to face the darkness within you as your own ‘victimizer’.

What do I mean by this?

Let me begin by asking: Have you ever broken promises you’ve made to yourself? Chances are, you’d answer yes–I know I have, all the time.

So how does that make you feel about yourself? Speaking for me–not too great to be honest. I want to be a ‘man of my word’ kind of person.

I want others to be able to trust in me.

But first, I must be able to trust myself.

Can I love myself enough to honour my values and beliefs?

The first time I came to see myself as ‘The Betrayer’ is during my last Silent Retreat, 3 months ago. It’s beautiful how, when our minds and hearts are clear of distraction and our focus is on the One, everything else becomes clearer. Deep, hidden things you never knew about yourself starts to come up to the surface, sometimes in a dream in the night.

I woke up one morning feeling especially disturbed.

This recurring dream is a painful one that I loathe. Not only do I have to deal with having unwanted people in my dream, always, he’s unhappy.

This time, we are meeting at a cafe, and I was there to say my goodbye.

But in the distance, I could see that she was coming right up to our table. In all my previous dream, that would be my cue to leave. This time, it was different. I wanted to fight for what used to be rightfully mine–but wasn’t anymore. So this time, I held on to him, not with my hands, but with my leg, under the table, clinging on with such intensity, I was awakened.

Anger rocked through my body at the break of dawn.

The feelings of injustice, and the pain of having to relive a betrayal over and over again felt like a searing hot wound that’s been ripped open for the millionth time. What a nightmare.

But then, as I stayed in bed, wondering the reason WHY I’m having these dreams, the Light of Truth came shining through, quietly and gently…

…Pointing me to see from a different perspective, I saw for the first time, how in my time of pain and need for love, I was willing to be the shadow figure, doing things ‘under the table’ to regain what I’d already lost…

…The wrong way. The dishonest way.

I saw, to my shock, The Betrayer, in me.

That stank. I felt disgusted with myself.

Truth Hurts. But It Sets You Free!

Being able to see myself as no different from the ones I felt who have wronged me, and coming in touch with the ugliness that is also a part of me, was humbling to say the least.

It led me to the greater miracle of forgiveness: Letting Go.

Something happened that day. It was as if, my inner cries of betrayal was hushed to a peaceful calm within, after having seen myself in the mirror.

I never again, had those recurring nightmare.

In awakening to The Betrayer that is in me,

I am able to forgive The Betrayer in others. 

I am able to see the pain and fear that led me down that path, and am once again reminded of the pain and fear that led them down that path.

I can choose not to betray myself for ‘love’ or break promises I make to myself. I can choose to align my actions with my values and beliefs.

Of course, I don’t always walk the talk–sometimes I’m not even trying!

But Self-Love means, accepting the fact that I’m human, being wise enough to learn from my own mistakes, and being grateful for another day of learning  to Love and to Forgive–both myself and others.

The desire is already there within you, to be Honourable. It’s inbuilt into your conscience to be Trustworthy. The idea is to keep practicing what you say you believe in. It’ll be a challenging workout–but it gets easier. 😉

“Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously.” – Jason Mraz

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture