Everybody Hurts

Hold On…

 

 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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“You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.” – Ann Voskamp

“…depression is like a room engulfed in flames and you can’t breathe for the sooty smoke smothering you limp — and suicide is deciding there is no way but to jump straight out of the burning building.

That when the unseen scorch on the inside finally sears intolerably hot – you think a desperate lunge from the flames and the land of the living seems the lesser of two unbearables…

…You don’t try to kill yourself because death’s appealing — but because life’s agonizing.

I remember the wild agony of no way out and how the stars looked, endless and forever, and your mind can feel like it’s burning up at all the edges and there’s never going to be any way to stop the flame.

Don’t bother telling us not to jump unless you’ve felt the heat, unless you bear the scars of the singe.

Don’t only turn up the praise songs but turn to Lamentations and Job and be a place of lament and tenderly unveil the God who does just that — who wears the scars of the singe.

A God who bares His scars and reaches through the fire to grab us, “Come — Escape into Me.” – Ann Voskamp

Link to full, original article by Ann Voskamp: 

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/08/what-the-church-christians-need-to-know-about-suicide-mental-health/

Special thanks to http://hopeinhealingblog.wordpress.com/ for the link.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Don’t Be Caught Up in the Hate

don't be caught up in the hate new blog post by saturdaysoul.com

This morning I received an email from a blog I follow, “The Love Culture“, it woke me up to what I have been feeling, and have always felt about war.  In this post that I will call Don’t Be Caught Up in the Hate, the writer Mish encourages her readers to “keep our eyes wide open and guard our heart”.  I could not have said it any better and had to share it with my Saturday Soulers. I hope you will read this and be inspired as I was to hold fast to love and resist all forms of hate, including the idea of war.

Love and peace,
Sandy

Don’t be Caught up in the Hate
by Mish at http://www.TheLoveCulture.wordpress.com

While the world is at war, guard your heart. Hold on to what is true, even as you get a firmer grasp on reality. Gather the Evidence of…

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While the world is at war, guard your heart. Hold on to what is true, even as you get a firmer grasp on reality. Gather the Evidence of Love and keep it in view.

Keep your eyes wide open as we’re bombarded with news of war everyday. But guard your heart. The world can do with one less person filled with reasons to annihilate one another.

Hold on to what is true, even as you get a firmer grasp on reality. Make a conscious effort to gather the Evidence of Love you have seen with your own eyes and felt in your own heart, when you travelled the world, and while growing up in your country. Hold it up high and clear and keep it in plain sight, even as you keep up with the media’s daily war drums.

The hornet’s nest is being stirred with an agenda.

Don’t be caught up in the hate.

For every thing we accuse another country / race / religion of, we have been guilty of the same in different ways, in a different time.

The rules of the game has not changed since the beginning of time.

It seems like with every turn of the century, the beast in every race is allowed to bare its ugly fangs, even if for just a while. Perhaps it’s to remind us we are more alike, than unalike. 

Animals kill to survive.

Humans kill each other in the guise of surviving, in the name of ‘truth’, for the ‘love of god’. As we know, it’s for the love of money and power.

Don’t let them profit from the monstrosity of hate.

Don’t let them profit from a war you don’t want.

If you must boycott something, boycott greed!

The war we should also pay attention to is the war within ourselves.

Deep within, we seek not to harm our neighbours. But when we’re in a hurt mode, hurt is what we generate all around.

Begin by tearing down our own walls and barriers built over the years, against love. Before demanding another country / race / religion to apologise to another, begin with the person next to you, the one you find the hardest to say sorry to.

How many loved ones have we blasted in mid-air during a heated conflict?

How many ‘targeted drone strikes’ have we sent through our own vitriolic exchanges on online media?

How many holier-than-thou wars have we fought with our own flesh and blood when we’re caught up in self-righteous indignation?

How many ceasefire have we rejected when a relationship turns sour?

The world is going mad, but the madness is closer home than we think.

Breathe. Exhale. Repeat.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

I see you, I hear you, I feel you.

Sometimes the most caring thing we can do for another is crawling into the cave of their soul, and taking a good look around to see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel.

No words of advice.

No need to fix.

Just being present in their moment of darkness with the light of our presence.

Staying far enough to give space, but close enough so they will know:

You are not alone.

In this way, that cavern can be transformed.

From a lonely place, to a safe haven.

A shelter.

An anchoring point where strength can be regained, just from the feeling of being seen, heard and felt.

Intimacy. Connection. Empathy. Love.

It’s how we feel hugged on the inside, and it’s a very nice feeling.

“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

For Better Or Worse, In Sickness And In Health

theloveculture

I can’t remember how our conversation got there, but it did.

“That’s why when we say our vows, we say for better or for worse… in sickness and in health,” he said, slowly and softly.

That’s the way Uncle Keith / Grandy speaks now, ever since he has his hearing aids on, and just as well.

Instead of a strong and mighty downpour of words (not that I remember him ever speaking that way)…

…his is a billowing mist, rolling gently across the hills and mountains of knowingness… slowly descending upon the layers of complexities within our inner forest…

…to rest on trampled grounds… without force… but through a quietness of spirit that feels like a refreshing dew.

And so that night, I saw this portion of the vow in a new light.

“For better or for worse…” now means more than problems related to the external and the material…

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Prickly Love

“Learn to love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but it takes a great heart to love the thorns.” – Anon.

My heart isn’t that great… but in the midst of all the bad, there’s some good. And that good part wants to try, wants to love, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

In trying, I keep failing, keep regressing, keep messing it up. Seems like I’m back to square one.

The real challenge is in learning to love with all my heart and accept my unlovable side–my own thorns–before I can do the same for others. 

“To love means loving the unlovable.” – G.K Chesterton.

It’s tough, but it starts with loving the Unlovable side of ourselves.

I look in the mirror today and see a big Thorn. Not a comfortable sight.

Dear Lovers,

I’m a work in progress. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Prickly Love, by Stephen Ryan: http://stiofanoriain.com

Prickly Love, by Stephen Ryan: http://stiofanoriain.com

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Keep It Real… in running and in loving. Learning how it actually works, can prevent damaging injuries. The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Running is easy, right? Just run! Loving is easy right? Just love! Right. Keep thinking that… 

Recent research has shown that as many as 79% of runners get injured at least once during the year. Stop. Think about that number for a moment. Nearly 8 out of every 10 runners you see at your next race have been or will be injured sometime that year.” – runnersconnect.com

There is 1 divorce in Malaysia every 10 minutes13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012, and so on and so forth. You get the picture.

We’re aware of these statistics, yet for some reason, we like to kid ourselves and think we’ll be the only exception and defy the odds.

This article by Jason Fitzgerald on 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle paints a true picture of what happens when we approach running–and I’ll add LOVING–with this kind of mindset:

“Flash back ten years ago: I was tearing through 80 mile weeks as a cocky 19 year old. But disaster was right around the corner.

I really had no idea what I was doing. My college coach gave us flexibility with our mileage and I was running too much, too soon, too fast. The “little things” that help you stay healthy were an afterthought…

So I ran myself into the ground. I reached 90 miles per week and then was forced to recover (slowly) from IT band syndrome.

This was after chronic Achilles tendinopathy ruined my spring track season. Later that year I’d have a string of other injuries.

I was locked in the injury cycle and had no idea what to do. It was frustrating; I thought I was doing everything right…” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Doesn’t this sound familiar?

When it comes to Love, can we admit we actually have no idea what we are doing? We get the idea from Hollywood that we’re going to be okay. Our ego tells us we can handle it. Our friends tells us it should be like this and that. And the message that we get all around is that it’s all fun and games. So we get into relationships too much, too soon, too fast. We end up running ourselves into the ground. Get our hearts broken. Get better. Then get our hearts broken again. It’s a cycle of heartbreak and pain!

If you’re SANE enough to be frustrated from years of chronic heartbreaks and you’re ready for a change, now’s the time to learn.

I love how Jason’s reality check for runners, applies to us all, as lovers:

“I could be your cheerleader and tell you that running is all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

But it’s not. Running is hard. It’s a contact sport between you and the ground and it can cause some serious damage.

My job is to help you become a better runner – healthier, faster, stronger, and free of injuries. Sometimes that means being brutally honest. And many of you are wildly impatient.

Good runners think long-term and put in the work month after month. They don’t care that they’re not ready to race this weekend – they’re more interested in building the fitness they need six months from now.

It’s a different mindset, but it’s often the difference between those who are chronically injured and consistently healthy.” – 5 Running Blunders That Keep You Locked in the Injury Cycle by Jason Fitzgerald

Loving is hard.

It’s not all cuddles, kittens, and rainbows.

It’s time to become brutally honest with yourself and practice patience. Think long-term and be willing to put in the work. Build the mental and emotional fitness you need to form healthy, loving, relationships.

In the past, I’ve done many things without putting in the work needed to learn how it works. I was more in love with the idea of it, than the reality of what it is and what it entails. As a result, I went through unnecessary complications, problems and pain. Sure, that’s how we learn, but some things can be avoided. Some fatal mistakes, we can’t afford to make.

I just started running.

I love how YouTube is full of tutorials on it. One of it says to film your run, so you can see your running posture, and correct from there. So I did, and spotted many things I could improve on. I’m glad I didn’t feel as awful as I did in my last run. My friend’s breathing tips made a world of difference. And there are plenty of videos on injury prevention and good running techniques I’ll need to watch and learn before my next run.

It’s all in the learning first, then practice.

It’s the same with Love.

Erich Fromm, Leo Buscaglia, and Gary Chapman are all saying the same thing. We need to study Love, and learn how it works, in order to Love ourselves and others, well. We need to get our heads out of the clouds and get a reality check on what love is and what it really requires.

“Much of the pain in broken relationships in our world stems from the truth that many of us have never been serious students of love. We haven’t taken it seriously enough to learn how it actually works.” – Gary Chapman

“Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.” – Erich Fromm

“Somehow or rather we all believe that all of the things we need to become lovers and to form relationships, are already in us. And all we have to do to realise it is to get to be a certain age, and there they are. You know if that were true, the statistics I presented to you will not be there.

Certainly you have a great potential to be a great lover, and it’s always there. I don’t care how old you are… But somewhere along the line, you’ve got to encounter it.You’ve got to take it seriously. You’ve got to embrace it in your arms.

You’ve got to ask questions like, ‘How does it happen? How does one do it?  How does one continue to grow in Love?’ It doesn’t just happen.” – Leo Buscaglia 

Love well. Do your homework.
Do your homework. Run well.

Keep it real.

The better prepared we are, the longer we can last, the further we can go, the harder the challenges we can face and overcome.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture