Maybe Upside Down is Good

Rumi: “Don’t worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

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“Tell us the TRUTH. Tell us when we are WRONG. A Loyal woman will not allow us to hurt her multiple times & still accept us. That is NOT loyalty. Not at all. That is Pacifying. Babying. Appeasing.” – Kevin Hart

Kevin Hart: “Males cheat on loyal women to boost their ego. A woman can be perfect for him. Beautiful, career minded, own money, cooks, does whatever he wants her to do in bed, loyal, intelligent, educated, faithful and yet, he will still cheat on her with an ugly, kangaroo looking girl every time. But why?

How a male treats a woman is NOT a reflection of HER worth. Nor is it a reflection on anything she LACKS or is not doing. An overly macho, mentally weak, sensitive-minded male knows he does not DESERVE a strong minded woman. In his mind, he thinks one day she will mentally awaken to the realization she deserves better than him & leave him. This is why males cheat on a woman, to have POWER over her. He cheats on her to boost his ego.

Most “males” are more insecure than women. Notice I referred to a “male” and not a “man”, as there is a distinct difference. Many males have VERY low self esteem. You can tell, that’s why he says, “I only fuck with bad bitches”. He is saying this to convince himself, attempting to drown out his insecurities that are on repeat inside of his own mind.

By cheating on a good woman, it makes a weak minded male feel he has POWER over her. It makes him feel he is worth more than her. A male knows if he cheats on a loyal woman, she will care about him more. Yes, initially she will be shocked a man has the audacity to cheat on her, especially with an UGLY woman. No, not merely “physically” ugly, no. The word UGLY describes the particular amount of compassion, sweetness and being genuine and nurturing the woman he cheats with lacks.

A woman whose loyalty is taken for granted will question herself like:
“what is wrong with me?
Am I not I’m pretty enough?
Is my ass not curvy and fat enough for him?
Is my stomach not slim enough for him?
Is it because I won’t let him bring another girl in the bedroom with us?
Is it my smart mouth?
Is it that I’m always “over emotional” like he complains?
What aren’t I doing right?
Should I do more?”

Then she will try to stay with him to PROVE to him she is better than the girl he cheated on her with. To prove to herself she can fight for love and can help him by help changing a bad boy into a good man, fooling herself. This is reverse psychology. A weak minded male just got a Good Woman to mentally submit herself to a mentally immature man, purely by cheating on her. Males use cheating to TRICK a good woman into SETTLING for him. But this mind game many males play cannot and will not work on a Loyal woman who knows her WORTH.

I learned as Men, we must realize that ONE woman who holds us down and stays by our side, after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her, use her and disrespect her over & over & over, she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK. She is poisonous. She will hold back your growth as a Man. Don’t be fooled & think a girl telling you what you want to hear is loyalty.

As a mentally mature Man, we need a Woman who will be genuine with us at all times, even if that means she speaks her mind to the point her words pierce us and her tone appears to be “smart mouthed”. In reality, she’s not being “smart mouthed’ she’s being a Queen mentality strong enough to verbally ascend to her throne.

A Loyal, Strong Minded Woman will speak her mind, regardless of what anyone thinks. Tell us the TRUTH. Tell us when we are WRONG. A Loyal woman will not allow us to hurt her multiple times & still accept us. That is NOT loyalty. Not at all. That is Pacifying. Babying. Appeasing.

A Loyal Woman will be loyal to your MANHOOD, not loyal to your EGO. A Loyal Woman will tell us the TRUTH, even if that means she might LOSE us. A Loyal Woman will tell us when our shitstinks, even if it makes us mad. A mentally mature man does not want a YES woman. Trust me. We don’t want a girl who will LET us hurt you and abuse you over & over & still accept us back, simply because you keep being told through Instagram Memes that real love must be suffered through and fought for. If she still stays with us after we prove to her time and time again that we genuinely aren’t strong enough as a man to keep her consistently happy in a relationship, it means she doesn’t really care about us as a man. She only cares about how we make her feel sexually. She is dickdizzy.

When a Woman truly LOVES a man, she loves him at his BEST, not settling for his worst. She wants us to BE the MAN who we were destined to be by the Holy Spirit. A man who can speak life into a woman, erase her insecurities, and shower her with loyalty and consistence. A loyal woman will tell her man to get his lazy ass up, get a job & pursue his dreams. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to live off her. A Loyal Woman will not baby a man by working a job herself, while he sits his lazy ass in her house all day, playing XBOX and eating Lucky Charms and Pop Tarts raw.

A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to talk down to her & disrespect her like she’s any girl, because she knows a mentally mature man DESERVES a Strong Minded Woman. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to refer to her as a Bitch, Bad Bitch, Boss Bitch, My Bitch, Wifey Bitch, because she knows we deserve a Queen who has integrity.

A Loyal Woman will not allow a male to FORCE her to get an abortion, or let him off the hook for abandoning her after getting her pregnant, because she knows we DESERVE to be a Father, not a Baby Daddy. A Loyal Woman will not tell a man what he wants to hear, she will feed him wisdom he NEEDS to hear and not be scared to do to it, because she is Loyal to his inner king, which is his spirit…” – Kevin Hart, on ‘Why “Men” Cheat On Loyal Women. 

Found this gem of an article from teremity.wordpress.com. ❤

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

You may Crash, You may Burn, When You Love, But you Learn…

There are some unpleasant experiences that keep repeating itself, despite the forgiveness and the benefit of faith. For me it means that there are still some lessons to be learnt, and until I learn it full well, I am allowed these experiences again and again.

I love how I’m growing more and more in awareness and understanding each time, with less and less fear and anger.

I learn fast, and see myself growing wiser, calmer and stronger for every time it happens. I love that I’m not bitter. You can’t really put yourself in that miserable state when the level of awareness is growing to the level that it is. I’m still human, I still feel sad, and shed a tear or two, but the bounce back is healthier and quicker.

I love the resilience I’m gaining. It’s all very new for me (and yet not really), to progress from a place of knowing to fully understanding that there’s no benefit in putting a label on a person or their choice of action, but more benefit in learning more about myself each time.

This time around, I am gaining the privilege of really knowing what Eleanor Roosevelt meant, when she said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

I love that I still get to wish the person giving me the Gift of Pain, nothing but growth and awareness in good time. I love that I get to accept that he is what he is and this is the reality and truth of his being, until he reaches his growth.

I love that there’s never a need to change someone. I love that I get to choose Love instead of Fear, and that the question “What Would Love Do Now?” has always led me the light way forward…

And I am grateful for this day, for the way it is unfolding, even though, it is not according to my plan. I believe in the Greater Plan, and so far, so good.

Thank You 
Thank You 
Thank You

I wrote all of these thoughts down, in the midst of an ‘unpleasant experience’. I have lost count how many times this has happened. It happened while we started seeing each other. Why am I surprised that it’s happening even now, as friends? The truth is, friends don’t treat friends this way. The realization of that truth today feels sad for me.

After spending the day with another friend, by the time I got home in the evening, all the Brave that’s been propping me up, made way for the humanness in me. Tears started rolling down my cheeks, even as I was laughing and watching ‘How to lose a guy in 10 days’ with my sis.

But right after the show, I had a good cry…

I do feel like a silly cow (the image I have in my mind is of this super sweet and cute kind of silly cow I met in Scotland though. They’re known as Hairy Coos. Will share an image below so you can picture it… ).

I feel silly for having a heart that is open and loving, and allowing the same person to keep taking it for granted–or at least that’s how it feels.

I feel silly, but I don’t regret a thing.

I still stand by what I wrote in the morning. And I read a post today ‘Don’t apologize for loving someone – not ever’ that truly resonates with me.

I’ve made it a rule in my personal life to never apologize for loving people, even if that love is never returned. To be unloving is the other person’s problem, not mine. As my grandmother use to tell me, “At the end of your life, the only things you’ll regret are 1) Not taking more risks and 2) Not being more loving toward others.” – jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com

Having said that, I love that immense self-love and compassion towards self is telling me that I get to stop now. I tried. I truly tried. I hear what my friend L said today, ‘It’s not about being silly. You just got to know when to give up.’ There comes a time when I need to know when to walk away. No girl or guy deserves to be treated this way. We deserve better.

I had so much respect for him, but FIRST, self-love means I must have more respect for me.

ANYWAYS. Here’s some pictures I took of Katrina the Hairy Coo, and I…

SMILE

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Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Don’t apologize for loving someone – not ever

love story from the male perspective

James Russell Lingerfelt’s note: We’ve received a lot of private messages from broken people. Hurting. This blog entry is dedicated to them.

We can love, love, love but sometimes that love isn’t returned. That’s not our fault. To love or not to love is a choice. We chose to love. They chose not to. This does not mean we are unloveable or unworthy of love. We’re not idiots, fools, or weak for loving. Rather, we have courage. Because we chose to be vulnerable and self-sacrificing; a requirement for love. And when it was over, though the echoes of the painful experiences reverberate in the depths of our being, we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off, and we keep pressing onward.

I’ve made it a rule in my personal life to never apologize for loving people, even if that love is never returned. To be unloving is the other person’s problem…

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A dying of the old, a birthing of the new.

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means its going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming. Its like when you hit rock bottom the only way you can go is up. When life drags you back, you can only go forwards.” – Anonymous

Life doesn’t always go according to plan or turn out like what we hope for. Some of us bounce back real quick from the set-back. Then there are some of us, who stay stuck for a while–and there’s no shame in that. Sometimes, it’s necessary to be “stuck” long enough to learn something.

I took 3 years. In the 3 years, I’ve grown so much, but it comes with growing pains. This year, I know for sure I am ready to launch forward, conquering fear by fear, doing the things I’ve always been wanting to do.

Last week for example, I bought 6 archery packages from Groupon. That’s 624 arrows in total! I figured I’m going to need as many arrows as possible, since I suck at it now but plan to get better at it! :- p Plus I’ve always wanted to give archery a shot. Feels good to finally do it. Fun and games aside, symbolically, an arrow means Flight and Direction. So this newfound hobby is meaningful for me and happening at the perfect time.

An arrow can also mean Life and Death.

I’ve been going through my old journals to gather materials for my project. I came across this note I wrote on Wednesday, 29th December 2010. Just a back story. This was written a few weeks after a devastating heartbreak. During this time, I’ve often felt numb, and “dead”… But the part of me that was alive, was insanely restless. To cope with that, I’d go for morning walks. This is what I wrote after the walk that morning…

“It was a cool morning today… The clouds were out, the sun was not, and it was breezy and chilly at 9am, which is a bit unusual! It was far too tempting not to take a walk and so I did, with my mug of coffee and teaspoon in tow!

The stray dogs were looking at me funny, the squirrels in the bushes were acting funny, and truth be told, I felt kind of funny walking around with that giant mug of coffee and spoon but it’s liberating not to care.

I was out to clear my mind and for the millionth time, I am so grateful I live on this side of my world, up on the hill, surrounded by nature… The energy here is calm and assuring. And there’s always something to be learned just by observing nature…

During my walk today, I contemplated the carpet of brown, fallen leaves. All leaves die and fall off the branch and tree eventually. But it is not the end but a beginning of another life cycle. When the dead leaves fall to the ground on which the tree stands, it is still a part of the tree, though separate. It serves, through its slow and eventual decay, to fertilize earth and nurture the tree that once gave it life.

And in being so,

it is once again

a part of what it left,

a part of the living,

by dying…

How does this apply to me?

I guess nature is teaching me once again that everything has its place in time. And that the dying off and falling away is another way of living and being together. It is a dance of balance, like night and day and hot and cold. And whatever it is I’m going through, is part of the learning cycle.

A dying of the old, a birthing of the new. The shedding of tears and the laughters to come…”

Whatever season you’re going through in your life right now, I wish you Strength for the journey ahead… And remember, “When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means its going to launch you into something great.” Have a little Faith in you. It’s going to be okay.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“I will find my way, if I can be strong, I know every mile, will be worth my while, when I go the distance…”

“I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know every mile, will be worth my while
when I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I’ll see it through

And I won’t look back, I can go the distance
And I’ll stay on track, no, I won’t accept defeat
It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero’s strength is measured by his heart…”

– Michael Bolton, Go The Distance

This song’s been ringing in my head everyday of this week. When this happens, especially when it’s NOT a song I’d usually listen to, I’ve learnt to pay attention. Looking at the lyrics, I can’t help but be in awe and gratitude. My subconscious knows the words I need to “go the distance”.

Go the distance: “to do the whole amount; to play the entire game;

to run the whole race… to continue to do something until it is successfully completed.” – thefreedictionary.com

I know that this song will be speaking to some of YOU too. So I’m sharing it here on The Love Culture to encourage you… Wherever you’re at, whatever you’re working on, don’t give up. Keep going! Go the distance…

Go-The-Distance

Love,

Mish.

****

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

Beauty In The Breakdown

“So, let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go
Just get in
Oh, it’s so amazing here
It’s all right
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown”

– Frou Frou

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“How being heartbroken was the best thing to ever happen to me,” – Emma Gibbs, TEDX

Blessings in disguise: Each of our story is different, and yet, it’s quite the same. One example is Emma’s story. Sharing it here on TheLoveCulture, to inspire faith, hope, love and strength for the journey forward… 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” – John C. Maxwell

Observe the patterns in your life. In just 1 day, the past 1 week, 1 month, 1 year… and if you dare go further, up to 10 years. What’s stuck on repeat?

I was clearing out my room the other day when I came across a note I wrote, more than 10 years ago. It was a sea of questions and thoughts and fears. But ONE stood out most of all.

“I want to be a writer… But what if I don’t have what it takes to be one? What if I’m not good enough to be a writer?”

I couldn’t believe it. I’ve been wrestling with these same questions everyday recently. But to discover that it’s nothing new, that it’s an Old Fear, something snapped. I started laughing. I suddenly realised I have spent the past 10 years doing exactly what I had wanted to do: WRITING.

I’ve been Copywriting, Songwriting, Blogwriting–writing, writing, writing! I AM a writer. My clients love my work. There are people who love my songs. And then there are readers who love my blog. And I have proved my old fear wrong. So what’s stopping me now, from Storywriting and Bookwriting? It’s Fear. It’s just an Old Pattern of Fear, planting doubts.

Realizing that, has given me the courage to get unstuck, and work daily towards my goals. This includes doing things I’ve never done before, such as constructing a world for my heroine and the obstacles she must face in order to get through to the other side. As I began drawing from my own journey, experience and imagination to do this, I saw a familiar pattern…

…It’s a pattern I saw in this video sometime ago, “What makes a hero?”. Watching it again, I was surprised (and not so suprised) to see that I’ve gone through “The Hero’s Journey”, and am still going through it right now… I know I’m not the only one and I’d like to share it with you here:

“…you leave your comfort zone. Have an experience that transforms you. And then you recover. And do it again.

You don’t literally slay dragons or fight Voldemort. But you face problems just as scary.

Joseph Campbell said, ‘In the cave you fear to enter, lies the treasure you seek.’ What is the symbolic cave you fear to enter?

Auditions for the school play? Baseball try-outs? Love?

Watch for this formula in books, movies and tv show you come across. You will certainly see it again.

But also be sensitive to it in your own life.

Listen for your call to Adventure. Accept the Challenge. Conquer your Fear. And claim the Treasure you seek.

And then, do it all over again.” – Matthew Winkler 

For YOU, what is the symbolic cave you fear to enter? What is your call to Adventure? What is your Challenge? What is your Fear that can be conquered? What is the treasure that you seek? Every single day, is an opportunity to advance closer to your dreams–DO IT.

For me, this is the year of facing major fears. I’ll be diving to its deepest depths and scaling up its highest heights! Besides writing, I’ve committed to be dive-certified by April and will be climbing Mount Kinabalu in June. I’m so excited for me as these are the things I’ve been wanting to do but was too afraid to do. I know that by the end of it, old fears will be broken, more confidence will be gained! It’s just what I need to keep progressing.

I leave you with this amazing quote…

habit

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture