Knocking on doors. Sharing my life’s work. Opening myself up to criticism. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Not hiding. Sending out emails and realizing later there were typo errors, things that could’ve been worded differently or best left unsaid. All of that, left me feeling the fear, uncertainty and discomfort of Vulnerability.
To allow myself to be in that Vulnerable place, has not been easy. I am scared. But I am also curious enough. However the response pans out, for better or worse, I know in the least I gave myself that chance by taking the first step. Now, I get to see what’s next.
Meanwhile, I get to wait.
And it is in the midst of waiting, that I am learning more about what it means to be Vulnerable. My inner critic is saying, “Look at your mistakes! It would’ve been better if you kept quiet. Or waited. Or perfected. Anything but doing what you did!” But my inner best friend is quoting Maya Angelou, “I did then what I know how. When I know better, I do better, that’s all.” So my inner best friend is cheering me on for trying.
Today, I wanted to understand more about Vulnerability.
What is its role in our life, our work and in our success?
So I looked up Brené Brown and came across a vid of her talking about Daring Greatly. I am resonating so much with everything she shared!
“I was in an incredibly difficult place. I was trying to show up in my work, and put myself out there. I was writing a lot and talking a lot about my research. And I felt like the more I did that, the more exposed I felt, the more afraid I felt and the more I was constantly ducking… criticism.
And I come across this quote by Theodore Roosevelt.
“It’s not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deed could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who’s actually in the arena, who’s face is marred by dust and blood and sweat, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again.
Who at best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement.
Who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
I know that there’s a myth that vulnerability is weakness. But it’s not. To show up, to let ourselves be seen. To try. To put ourselves out there when we’re not sure we’re going to succeed. That’s vulnerability. And that’s daring greatly.
To bust through the fear of not being enough.
Of not being perfect enough. Of not being bullet proof enough.
Of the fear of failing…
…The question is, what’s worth doing, even if I fail?” – Rene Brown, author of Daring Greatly.
Thinking these two words over and over again. Daring greatly. Daring greatly. Daring greatly. I began to realize that daring greatly begins with daring to NOT be great.
Daring to be imperfect. Daring to be seen, flaws and all. Daring to put yourself out there.
The hope is in not having to go through this alone.
“(It’s) Very necessary to have people in our lives, who, when we’re vulnerable, when we try something new, and it doesn’t work out, and it comes out short, who are willing to look at us and say, that you were brave,” Brené Brown, The Power of Being Vulnerable.
“A group of people who… made an agreement… that we would be vulnerable and brave together… we would create a space where we never have to shrink. Who are really proud of what we’re doing and our successes. And we would never have to puff up when we’re feeling small and ashamed. That we were all going to be brave together…” Brené Brown
Do you have people in your life, who you can be vulnerable and brave with? Can others be vulnerable and brave, with you?
Lastly, a good reminder:
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” – Brené Brown
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb
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