Have you ever wondered “What If?” and allowed Fear to come in between you and Love–in the present?
The better question we can ask is this instead, “What would Love do now?”
My biggest lesson for this week is to Love… While you can, when you can.
Last Tuesday, was the first time I saw Sweetie. He was the only one of his kind…
…swimming in a blue tub, mixed up with two black moors, much bigger in size.
He paddled frantically to hide when he saw me, docking himself next to a black moor. I only had a top view of Sweetie. Since he wouldn’t budge from his hide-out, that was that. We left him at the shop that day.
But I was feeling a tug of war.
To bring him home?
To leave him there?
…but I kept thinking “What If?”
“What if I go all the way back, but don’t feel like bringing him home?”
“What if no one keeps an eye on him while I’m at work in July?”
“What if we move by end of the year and there’ll be logistical issues?”
“What if I leave for NZ next year and there’s no one to care for him?”
If I knew then what I know now.
That I’d only have 2 days and 2 nights with him, plus 30 minutes…
…I would’ve brought him home sooner.
By the time I went to see him for the second time on Sunday, his tub was overcrowded with black moors–freshly stocked. Poor sweetie, a tiny thing surrounded by giants, was left there to fend for himself.
My friend Pam had came along for this unplanned trip to the petstore so we both got to look at his face for the first time in the viewing tank that day. It was love at first sight! But we were both also aware that he sank right to the bottom of the tank when scooped up for us to see. His blood-streaked fins indicated that he was severely stressed and not feeling well.
I knew though, this time, I couldn’t just walk away and leave him there.
I was aware I would be bringing home a sick goldfish to care for.
After all the pain and grief and heartache from the loss of Pumpkin, Ponyo, Peaches, Patches, Pebbles, I had some reservations. Why risk getting hurt again? But loving Sweetie felt like the natural thing to do…
I’m glad I chose Love over Fear.
The last 2 days and 2 nights filled Pam’s heart and mine with so much awe, gratitude and wonderment for this tiny and handsome goldfish.
It’s true what they say…
“Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
Bringing home Sweetie was a great decision I wish I made sooner.
But more than that, I guess the biggest lesson of all for me…
…and for us all,
Is to always, always, always,
While we can.
When we can.
“We love you lots, Sweetie. And we’re sad you have to go. Someday we’ll be together again. Thank you for coming into our lives–you’re a gift from heaven above, and we’re glad to have met you, before you went back home.
The Love Culture – A Loving Way Of Being