“The Blessings Of ‘Abandonment’.”
“How can abandonment be a blessing? Has she ever been deserted? Left behind? Left for good? Rejected? Neglected? How can that ever be a blessing?”
There’s a reason why I placed inverted commas to hug a very strong word: ‘Abandonment’. I am not saying abandonment in itself is a blessing.
I was referring more to the feelings of abandonment, when a friend or loved one keeps their distance or when you’re met with only silence.
And I’ll be keeping to this context and focussing on this area in this blog.
ps: I have experienced all of it: Abandonment, being left behind, left for good, rejection and have been neglected too. To what degree and by whom–to each his own. This is not a competition of who suffered the most. Pain is pain. We don’t choose these things when it happens. But we can choose our response and learn to see the sun through the rain.
Now on to my blog for today…
When I was a kid, my mom taught me how to ride a bike. After a while, she had to let go, step away, and allow me to fall. I was bruised from the falling, my knees all scratched up and bleeding. And I was left alone while I was crying from pain and anger.
But it was in her absence, with no one left to pick me up or to lean on, that I decided to give it my one last try. To my surprise, that ‘bloody afternoon’ I found my balance and finally learnt how to cycle!
I was flying all over the place on my bike and ringing the bell and yelling for mom to witness my moment of triumph when she came rushing back out with the biggest smile, that says, “I knew you could do it!”
Everything is a matter of perspective.
When a friend or a loved one ‘disappears’ from your life, we can view it as a painful rejection or we can accept it and allow it to be a blessing.
Their silence, ‘absence’ and distance may be a hidden, quiet kind of love.
By not allowing themselves the pleasure of being needed, they are giving you space to grow out of your ‘neediness’.
By removing themselves as your ‘prop’, you can learn how to lean on the Strength, Courage and Wisdom, within.
By their fading away into the background, your best, can emerge upfront.
By their ‘disappearing’, we can discover and appreciate HIS-appearing.
OR. It may be pure selfishness on their part.
They might have given up on you. But you don’t have to give up on you.
They might have walked out on you. You don’t have to walk out on you.
Them leaving you on your own can turn out to be a good thing–to make room for a God thing. How you see your life is how you experience it.
“The Blessings Of Unknowing.”
After a meeting, I met up with a friend. Over a cup of coffee and English tea, she shared her fears of not knowing what’s going to happen next.
If we’re really honest with ourselves, I believe at some point or other, we’ve shared the same fear. And for some of us, it is still a daily struggle.
On the way home, I messaged her,
“Yesterday, my ex-colleague said, “Life is very interesting. You never know how it’s going to turn out.”
How we read this cliché but true saying, depends on this: Can we learn to love the Surprise? Can we let God surprise us?
Not knowing what’s happening next can be terrifying.
It can also be a blessing.
We get to unwrap IT day by day, gently, slowly, full of hope and faith in the Giver of the gift, who loves us so much.
This is a process I’m going through now–so glad I’m not alone and that you understand. On train now, nearing home.”
Later, she replied, “Sisters on a journey of unknowing.”
That brought a smile to my face. Yes. We are not alone in this journey.
Together, we’ll make it through.
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb
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