Dead–Now I’m Alive. Lost–Now Am Found. Blind–When Will I See?

In all the sea of words, in all the swell of pages, in all the hours poured out–this is it.

This is my life’s story in 3’s.

1. Dead–Now I’m Alive.

2. Lost–Now Am Found.

3. Blind–When Will I See?

So my question is, where do I go from here?

After FOUR hundred AND ninety ONE drafts, I

am, once again, wandering… in… darkness.

A paper fell. A hurried scrawl: Ezekiel 34. “Read this,” she had said,

one evening, one December. Had I read it? Can’t remember. Then the

words seemed so familiar. I have been here months ago. But tonight,

it speaks to me, “I myself will search… for my sheep… and look

after them.” I am listening. “I will rescue… from all… the places

they were scattered… on a day… of clouds… and darkness.” 

Thank God.

“I will search… for the lost… and bring… back the strays.” He

responded, to me. “I don’t know how You’ll do it God, but I need

You NOW…”

And there… was… Silence.

I reached out, to the book, that was lying, on the far, end, of my bed, by my journals. For its cover, a ship, can be seen, in isolation, beneath, a brewing, storm. Its clouds, as black, as night. Its seas, as calm, as day.

the

furious

longing

of

God

– brennan manning.

“I’m Brennan. I’m an alcoholic.

How I got there, why I left there, why I went back, is the

     story of my life.

But it is not the whole story.

I’m Brennan. I’m a Catholic.

How I got there, why I left there, why I went back, is also the

    story of my life.

But it is not the whole story.

I’m Brennan. I was a priest, but am no longer a priest. I was a

      married man but am no longer a married man.

How I got to those places, why I left those places, is the story

    of my life too.

But it is not the whole story.

I’m Brennan. I’m a sinner, saved by grace.

That is the larger and more important story.

Only God, in His fury, knows the whole of it.” – intro, page 17-18

I laughed. My heart wept. The Lord, had answered, a silent plea, my desperate cry. I have struggled and am struggling, to share, my life’s story. But there in, is the whole point, and the whole point, is just this:

I’m a sinner, saved by grace. That is all. Through it all. LOVE is all. 

“The men… and women… who are truly… filled… with light… are those… who… have gazed… deeply… into… the darkness… of… their own… imperfect… existence.” – Brennan Manning

I know now, I must finish, the project We began.

In need of Love, in awe of You,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

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About theloveculture

Inspiring A Loving Way Of Living -- “The Growth of one blesses all. I am committed to grow in Love." - Julia Cameron -- www.theloveculture.wordpress.com www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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