Happiness is…

…20.11, 2011, a moment in time filled with pure, overflowing JOY.

…baby Evan in his crib, arms flying, legs kicking, fart laughing! 🙂

…being filled with unspeakable Joy and Peace as we sing of our Love to the Lover of Our Souls, Wonderful Counsellor, Comforter & Best Friend.

…reading a French bible for the first time: O Dieu! Tu es mon Dieu.

…ladies expressing extraordinary appreciation for ordinary me.

…playing the baby grand when the light’s turned off with Mariah.

…the lovely cashier in GODIVA, Pavi & head chef in ICHIBAN. 🙂 (super, amazing, customer service! the extra ribbon & butterfish sashimi! ;))

…awesome TIME with my best friends, laughing up all the TIME! 😉

…yes, the previous statement’s related to a great movie: In Time.

…coming home to the best compliment for today: “No.1, Michelle.”

…being so happy, that you want to bottle up this feeling in a blog.

😉

What makes you happy today? Count your BLESSINGS, one by one. 🙂

Love & Gratitude,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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TLC ~ Love Of The Day

Think of this as your ‘Soup Of The Day’ special for your Heart, Mind and Spirit:

“Can YOU forgive YOU?

Today, like every other day, I had felt the urge to call the X to say I’m sorry.

I never bother him of course. He’s accepted my apologies and extended his. The end.

So why do I get this annoying need to apologise, over and over again?

He is equally, if not even more, responsible for breaking us up.

Why should I say sorry again? Is it really his forgiveness I seek?

As I pondered this over, I brought my guilt before God for the millionth time in prayer, asking for forgiveness. In response, all I heard in my heart was a gentle answer in the form of an affirmation and a question:

“I’ve already forgiven you a long time ago… Can YOU forgive YOU?”

Wow… I was silenced… Good question…

And then it becomes so clear.

The reason why my inner voice has never stopped saying sorry, is because it begs to be heard, by me. It wants to be forgiven, by me.

Part of me knows I still blame me for the break up. That part of me wants to be released from that guilt and condemnation. It wants to be set free.

Who knew, at the end of the day, it all boils down to Me, Forgiving Me?

“Forgiveness if a GIFT… Can YOU forGIFT YOU?”

ps: I know I’ve shown this video before but it’s so awesome, here it is again! Watch the sheeeeer happiness of the Humpback whale after it’s been set free–that’s what Love & Forgiveness can do for you and I. 🙂

Love & Forgive,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

TLC ~ Love Of The Day

Think of this as your ‘Soup Of The Day’ special for your Heart, Mind and Spirit:

1.  “Are YOU good enough for YOU?”

This question popped up while I was on the train, on my way to KLCC…

Am I good enough for me?

As humans, the answer to this question may change by the seconds, by the minute, by the hour, or, if you’re not so fickle, at best, by the month.

But one thing’s for sure, at all times, You are good enough for Him–your Creator who made you and is very proud of His one and only Creation.

In Worship, we tell Him, “There is none like You.” In our heart of hearts, let us allow Him to speak to us lovingly, as a Father to His Child, that in His eyes and in His heart and in His mind, “There is none like you”.

You are good enough. Period.

 2. “The ‘NEW’ me is the REAL me (minus the baggage).”

For one whole year last year, nearly everyday, I would pray, “Upgrade me! Mentally, emotionally, spiritually–totally!”

This was the dangerous prayer that turned my life  irrevocably and completely UPSIDE down, INSIDE out.

Being human, of course for some time, the emphasis was more on the DOWN than the upside, and just feeling OUT of it and not grateful at all, for the hurricane of Change that blew the roof off, on every fixed, limiting plans I had for myself.

Unknown to me, it was a BLESSING in disguise–but I had not known it at that time. It was all part of the Surprise…

And now that I’m IN on the Surprise, the results have been speaking UP for itself–beautifully. 🙂

We are each a mirror to each other.

Like it or not, everyone’s been saying the same thing to me–they love this ‘NEW’ me. I am ‘different’, now. I am ‘better’, now. I am more this now and more that, now. What do I do with this feedback?

I can choose to take offence at this and pick it to the bone in order to fight for my ‘old’ self to be loved.

OR. I can just choose to love the old me regardless, AND receive the feedbacks as is.

As is, I do love that they love my ‘NEW’ me. 🙂 It shows that I’ve GROWN… and I hope I never stop growing UP. 🙂

Most of all, it became clear to me today that the ‘NEW’ me is, frankly speaking, just ME. The REAL me–minus the baggage.

I mean, I’ve still got stuffs to deal with and kinks to work on–like all humans do–but yea. Make progress! CELEBRATE! 🙂

As for YOU–if you’ve been working on upgrading yourself, being ‘better’, being ‘good enough’–know that the day you’ve upgraded is the day you’ve ‘downgraded’ from all the façade you’ve put up.

Allow yourself to hit rock bottom of who you truly are–the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. ALL of that, makes you, uniquely YOU.

This ‘NEW’ you that you’re aiming for, is the REAL you, all along.

You are LOVED, so much more, as you truly are–That is no lie. ♥

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Journey To The Past & Imperfection…

Part of discovering and embracing the person that you are NOW, means remembering the person that you WERE

…that is where I’m stuck.

I observe with both horror and amusement, the pounding fear and panic that is growing louder and harder with each successive Likes and comments pouring in on Facebook for the pictures labelled GLAM.

Even as I’m writing this, the likes won’t stop flooding in! On other days, I’ll be loving the likes, but as about now, the likes are driving me nuts!

That photo-shoot was done in 2010. Barely a year ago. And yet, as I look at those pictures, I wonder who’s that girl?

I’m not so sure if I’m willing to wear that gold sequin dress again… I’m not so sure if I like that giant faux diamond ring, still… I’m not so sure if I’m into this whole loud, glam, and shiny look anymore.

I may in the future. Maybe this is just a phase. But I’m not so sure now.

What I AM sure about, is that I’m not liking the unexpected attention.

And I’m wondering why?

I want to tell these people, no, no, no! Don’t like it! Don’t say anything!

With every Like, I feel like a pressurised volcano driven to explosion. And as the lava of tears are flowing, I am wondering what my strong emotions are really saying to me?

…deleting the album won’t solve anything.

As I spent a moment in silence and tears, I realised, what’s really freaking me out at this moment is a whole bunch of things, but mainly, my journeying into the past…

…and having a tonne of people watching me as I do it.

I’ve spent a good whole year running from my past.

All I want, is a clear look at my future but always at the back of my mind, were all my unfinished business.

ROX/STA… and the remaining dresses that have yet to be altered to be photographed to be sold. The website. The halfway written book… always the halfway written book!

It’s so much easier to just say goodbye to it all and start anew.

But I can’t deny there are 441 drafts of my book lying around, each page swimming with words and thoughts and stories just waiting to be shared.

I can’t deny that my heart still skips a beat, when Rae & May inquired on my ROX/STA dresses today…

So where do I go from here?

I don’t know… I’m still lost.

As I sifted through my old files looking for answers, I posted these pictures up, not expecting the kind of reaction it has triggered–in others and especially, in myself.

Each time somebody clicks Like on my old ‘me’ and my mind is yelling “This isn’t me anymore!” I feel like shutting down facebook to hide.

My plans, my priorities, my perspectives have shifted. My whole world’s changed. I have changed–I don’t know what to do with the New-Me yet.

I love her. But I also want the old me, to be loved–by me.

It gets a bit hard when lately, everyone’s been telling me they like me so much more now, that I’m so different now, that I’m better now, more beautiful now, more caring now, more everything now…

On one hand, I am happy. On the other, it’s human to think of the negative and wonder if I wasn’t lovable before?

That frame of mind puts me in a very bad place.

It’s time to switch over to a new perspective: The fact is, I AM better now.

And every person I meet, serves as a mirror, telling me so, though I’m not looking for it.

Instead of my failures, my past can now serve as a reminder of how far I’ve come. And in the midst of all this growing, I’ll always remember what a friend from Portugal once said to me, “Michelle, don’t be perfect.” 🙂

All my life I’ve struggled to be good enough. The break up last year have often left me feeling I’m still not good enough. But these gentle words always comes back to soothe me to a place of peace and calm…

“…don’t be perfect.”

And that, my lovers, is the truth.

No matter what journey you’re on, past, present or future, always remember, we’re human. We make mistakes, but that’s how we learn and grow. Embrace your imperfection. At all times, you are loved, as you are.

“…don’t be perfect.”

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

‘A Tear & A Smile’ by Kahlil Gibran

“I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart for the joys of the multitude.

And I would not have the tears that sadness makes to flow from my every part turn into laughter.

I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.

A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding of life’s secrets and hidden things. A smile to draw me high to the sons of my kind and to be a symbol of my glorification of God. A tear to unite me with those of broken heart; a smile to be a sign of my joy in existence.

I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I lived weary and despairing.

I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the depths of my spirit, for I have seen those who are satisfied the most wretched of people.

I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.

With evening’s coming the flower folds her petals and sleeps, embracing her longing. At morning’s approach she opens her lips to meet the sun’s kiss. The life of a flower is longing and fulfillment. A tear and a smile.

The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come together and are a cloud. And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping to the fields and joins with the brooks and rivers to return to the sea, its home. The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting. A tear and a smile.

And so does the spirit become separated from the greater spirit to move in the world of matter and pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow and the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death and return whence it came. 

To the ocean of Love and Beauty — to God.” – A Tear And A Smile by Kahlil Gibran

Love & Inspire,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

11 minutes to 11.11.11

LOL. If I had it my way last year, I would’ve been married tomorrow, on 11.11.11!

A thousand million thoughts have been making its long and arduous journey, across the sinking sands of time, past and present, to reach this very moment.

And yet surprisingly, on the eve of 11.11.11, the feeling is liberating.

With news of a thousand couples set to be married tomorrow, their stories of proposals and triumph paraded for the whole nation to see.

I was amazed I feel no pain, no envy, and no wish to be one of them.

I look at pictures of the blissfully wedded brides-to-be on the beautifully symmetrical date of number ones—and actually feel happy—FOR ME!  🙂

Someone Up There had a better plan for me all along.

In the process of making that happen, my life has been turned upside down, inside out—for good and for love’s sake!

And I can honestly say, I’ve never been happier as a person or more secure about myself or been this comfortable in my own skin. I’m still a work in progress but I’m loving the progressions made so far.

It took a lot of pain and hurt and anger and confusion and grieving and fear to get to this place of growing and trusting that everything’s gonna be okay—but it’s been so worth it.

All my life, I’ve given the power of happiness and love, to another person.

I’ve made him my sun, my moon and my stars.

That is A LOT for a mere man to live up to! It always feels great at first, both for the worshipped and the worshipper.

But what happens when the sun doesn’t shine anymore and the rain doesn’t end?

Ours wasn’t a love story that would stand the test of time.

He is not God. I shouldn’t have expected him to be so.

Like most men, he was gone like the wind.

Here today, not always here tomorrow.

And here I am, in the present…

…Single, but wiser.

Stronger and happier, and more loved up than I’ve ever been.

The good news is it has nothing to do with a man—but everything to do with Love.

And that, my Lovers, is the secret to your happiness.

You can be with a person and be the loneliest person in the planet. You can rock the biggest diamond and still be the unhappiest person in the world. You can live in a mansion and still be the poorest person at heart.

What you seek, you already have—all along.

LOVE is what you are.

So come 11.11.11–let’s  raise our glass and give a toast! To Love. To Life. To YOU. 🙂

Be Love and Be Loved,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture