It is said that Pain is the glue that connects us all.
Lately I’ve been feeling the pain of loss… and loosing sleep and appetite over it.
I know the importance of allowing ourselves to feel what we feel instead of numbing it… but today, it got a bit much. So happy hour started a little bit early while at work.
“You’re trying to numb the pain… You’re not supposed to numb your pain… Feel it… What are you learning from it?” says my inner voice.
I didn’t care much for learning today… I just wanted that feeling to go away… but by the end of the can, nothing’s changed.
The moment I stopped fighting it and acknowledged I’m plain miserable… the Lesson presented itself.
With every loss, there is a gain…
You gain a greater sense of appreciation for what you’ve had in the past and what you’ve got in the present…
Sometimes, it may seem too late…
But in truth, it’s never too late to feel gratitude.
Lately, the words of a friend from the past, ”This is the most I can do for you…” and the words of a friend in the present, “I hope I can be a perennial herb to you…” are ringing in my heart and my head.
Who am I?
Why do people even think about what is the most they can do for me?
Have I ever thought about what is the most I can do for others?
To be honest, I can’t remember if I ever have…
It’s easy to say I’m selfish and it’s true I am…
…but I’ve also been learning about self-love and self-compassion. So I want to remind myself that sometimes the best things we do for others come so naturally and unselfconsciously that we’re unaware of it.
Maybe I’ve been that kind of friend for someone to deserve this kind of kindness… Or maybe it’s not that I’m deserving of it but that I’ve been so blessed to have such a person in my life. Either way, unconditional love means that I am free to receive love without having to repay in kind…
At the end of the day, it’s not about me… It’s that the other person asked the question, “What is the most I can do for you?” and then acted on it.
What a beautiful way of being and living… By that person’s example, I can now choose to ask the same question and do the same for others…
As for my friend who wants to be my perennial herb… lol. That is one of the sweetest most craziest thing a person has ever said to me. I love it.
“Perennial means plants that live forever ever given the right conditions,” she said. “Yea. I’m familiar with perennial cos I had to research it for my client… They’re super hardy and resilient…” I said.
I’m blessed with good friends… some of which I’ve come to appreciate, too late. But they’ll always be in my heart, and as V once said, “that’s a very good place to stay.”
ps: So happy I got to watch BIG MIRACLE on Astro last night. It’s a movie about a whole community coming together to save 3 sperm whales. But on a deeper note, it shows that animals are great teachers of Love, too…
I think the timing of the movie couldn’t have been any more perfect. Just earlier, I shared a video on The Love Culture. It’s of this kitten and dolphin, showing us that love is everywhere, even in the deep blue sea.
Enjoy the vid.
pps: Have you experienced loss lately? How did you deal with pain? Did you gain something from the experience? Let’s share and grow together. I’ll like to hear and learn from you. Drop comments below.
Michelle Tan is the Founder of The Love Culture ~ Inspiring A Loving Way Of Living. https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture
Her mission is to make space for Faith, Hope & LOVE through her writings, clothing line ROX/STA http://www.roxstastudio.com & music.