“You can’t avoid life’s potholes… the good news is there is far more joy and happiness available to you when you choose to see it.”

You can’t avoid life’s potholes. No one gets a free pass or a smooth road. There will be, we’re sorry to say, some sorrow, fear, pain, sadness or other stress.  But, the good news is that there is far more joy and happiness available to you when you choose to see it. Let’s take a moment to note those wonderful things, moments, memories or gifts in our lives.” queenofyourownlife.com

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Unique pothole at my apartment’s carpark – Love, Mish. ps: Do you see what I see?

“…while some of us get hardened by life, others are somehow tenderized by it — softened, gentled, humbled. The people whom I love and admire most are those who walk through the fire and somehow manage to keep their humor, their grace, their wonder, and yes, their innocence. Not through naiveté, mind you, but through muscular, decisive acts of love.

That, to me, is a hero’s path.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Unique pothole at my apartment's carpark

Unique pothole at my apartment’s carpark – Love, Mish. ps: Do you see what I see?

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” - Mother Teresa

Unique pothole at my apartment's carpark

Unique pothole at my apartment’s carpark – Love, Mish. ps: Do you see what I see?

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“The Ebb & Flow Of Life!” – Chris Assaad

Love this post by Chris Assaad: “Today was one of those days when I woke up and for no apparent reason I was feeling a little lower in spirits than usual. I began to wonder why.

Maybe it’s the cold, rainy, dreary weather and lack of sunshine as winter officially sets in. Maybe it’s a subtle feeling of discouragement as I come up against obstacles along the path to my dream and as I focus on how far I have yet to go to my goal.

Perhaps it’s a combination of fears that have crept into my subconscious and affected my mood. Fear of failure is always high on the list and then of course, there’s fear of everything that comes with success.

Or maybe it’s a bout of loneliness that triggered my fear of never finding the relationship I long for and of being alone for the failure or the success. Blah blah blah!

Ok that’s enough. This is how our minds work a lot of the time and if we don’t catch ourselves, we can get completely submerged in destructive thinking.

There are two levels to this pattern. The first is that when I wake up feeling a slight change in my mood, my first response is to assume that something is wrong and to go hunting for a reason. Well, we’re all professionals at that and when we go in search of evidence for why we’re feeling down, we’re bound to come up with plenty of great stories. Oh how we love our stories!

The fact is that there is an ebb and flow to life. There are highs and lows. There is bitter and sweet. There are gray days and sunny days and it’s all part of the package. If it were peaches, sunshine and roses all the time we’d probably get bored pretty quickly.

The second level is that we resist the mood and immediately try to “fix” it or escape it.  In some instances this takes the form of eating, drinking, doping, buying, consuming or indulging our way out of the problem. In other instances, we run, we hide, we deny or we slam on the brakes and shut down completely.

The bottom line is that the idea that we’re supposed to be on a high all the time is misleading and it can cause us to have false expectations. It’s no wonder that we live in a world mired in addictive behaviors aimed at escaping the lows that we all inevitably experience.

What I’ve been learning is that the best way to cause a shift in our mood when the darkness hits is to completely surrender to the experience of it.

This means facing the feelings, writing about them, talking about them with someone we trust and sometimes, even laughing about them.

The more we resist the valleys of life, the more entrenched in them we become. But when we honor our darker feelings and accept them as part of the nature of who we are, then they lose their hold on us.

When we acknowledge our feelings, give them voice and allow ourselves to feel the ugly, scary stuff, then the darkness passes and gives way to light.

Most importantly, when we’re having one of those days, it’s an opportunity to practice loving ourselves more, to dig deeper and have greater faith in our dreams, to build up our spiritual endurance and press on in the face of fear and uncertainty. It’s an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow by getting to know a side of ourselves that makes us uncomfortable.

There is an ebb and flow to life.  Rather than fight it or resist it, let us embrace it.

Let us adjust our expectations of what is “normal” and practice accepting the highs, the lows and everything in between.

There’s a lesson in all of it and it’s by fully being wherever we are that we can maintain a sense of inner peace and remain empowered regardless of what the day holds or what the weather outside looks like.” – Chris

Chris Assaad is a rad singer/songwriter and a TDL reader. Check out his website here.

Read this gem of an article from The Daily Love <3 Disclaimer: Just because I share an insight by Chris / The Daily Love, does not mean I am aligned with their teachings / programmes in all its entirety. There will always be things we agree with /don’t agree with. Please apply personal discernment. Take what you can, leave out the rest.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Love Anyway

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
LOVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
DO GOOD ANYWAY.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
SUCCEED ANYWAY.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
DO GOOD ANYWAY.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
THINK BIG ANYWAY.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
FIGHT FOR A FEW UNDERDOGS ANYWAY.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
BUILD ANYWAY.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE ANYWAY.

– ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ was written by Dr. Kent M Smith in 1968, when he was a 19 year old student at Harvard, as part of a booklet for student leaders titled, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council. This quote is often attributed to Mother Theresa, who displayed this quote on the wall of her children’s home in Calcutta.

I see him on whatsapp. It means he hasn’t left. It means he extended his stay. It means I could get my things back. It means he could’ve contacted me to tell me so, and made plans to return them. But he hasn’t gotten in touch. If he wanted to, he would’ve done so by now. Can I live with that? I guess I can. Those items have sentimental value, but in the end, things can always be bought. But money can’t replace a person, a moment, or trust.

I guess my real struggle is in accepting the fact that he could’ve gotten in touch, but for reasons known only to him, has not. And the struggle is in accepting ‘not knowing’ or knowing that the moment we had, though short and sweet, is gone, and along with it, the trust. The struggle is in accepting the reality, the truth of him, as he is, not what I think he is.

But it’s strange…

I still love him anyway. Not in the romantic kind of way (there’s nothing remotely attractive about the way he is choosing to be these days), but in an unconditional way. I’m aware he’s acting like a prick, and that he’s screwing me over in the way that he’s choosing to be right now, and I’m angry. Nobody deserves to be treated this way—not me, not him, not anyone else for that matter. But shit happens and we don’t make the best choices when our Awareness is bogged down by our invisible baggage.

I’ve learnt through personal experience that on a deeper subconscious level, we treat others, the way we treat ourselves. And I understand that a person with a healthy level of growth, healing and awareness will not consciously do this to another person. When we choose to make others feel miserable, it’s because we’re struggling inside and miserable too.

I guess my struggle is in accepting that he still has some way to go before we see eye to eye. And until then, we’ll need to go our separate ways. In the ideal world, we’d still be friends and part on friendly talking terms. But this is the reality. And I guess I have two choices. Not accept it and keep trying and play the fool. Or accept it and let go, knowing that if he ever wanted to contact me again in the future, he would know how to.

I choose Acceptance.

I love what my friend Julia wrote yesterday, “My laptop crashed, so all my writings are gone, which is sad somehow, but I also take it as a sign, to start freshly. Maybe it’s what I have to do…

It’s good and important to have a peaceful relation to the one you loved. Nobody knows where it’s leading in the future. I learned not to take things too serious… Life goes on anyway, no matter how much energy you put into something and what you get out of it…”

My finger moved away from his number and call button. I’ll leave him alone if that’s what he wants. I’ve said and done what’s needed to be said and done. All there’s left to do now is to Accept that It Is What It Is.

I wish you Love…

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Camping in the Clouds (Jangal-e Abr, Iran).

Originally posted on middle east revised:

Tehran-based photographer Shiva Araghi headed to the misty mountains of Iran for a weekend of camping with friends, cloaked in the clouds of Jangal-e Abr, Iran’s mysterious Cloud Forest. 

This is how it looked like.

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Untitled-41photos © Shiva Araghi

See more photos, read the full article and a small interview with Araghi at the Brownbook.

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Work To Make Love Last

Originally posted on theloveculture:

Goldfish are one of the most rewarding pets to keep. Like little puppies, they are always super excited to see you–especially in the morning, they go nuts!

They swim like they’re flying, stage a dance-off for attention, have incredible memory, striking personality and individual food preference too.

I love my goldfish.

Pebs in her quarantine tank back in Sept 2010... Best 1 year 7 months with her.

Pebbles in her quarantine tub

Pebbles is about the size of my palm lengthwise, and her head’s slightly bigger than a golfball. She’s a playful Crystal Ranchu–a type of goldfish with pretty, sparkly scales. With her big, beady black eyes, she makes you think you’re looking at a live anime! I hope she lives forever and I tell her a million I Love Yous everyday cos I do love her…

…or do I?

I realize that inherently, it’s so easy to think I love my goldfish because of how she makes me feel. But when it comes down to practical love, that’s one department challenging me all the time to prove it.

One thing…

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memoirs of minimalistic people: women of vision

Originally posted on AESTHETICALLY PLEASING:

“In my whole life, I have never felt love.” Mejgon, married at 11, Afghanistan


Masuda Mohamadi

War Letters, 2005

Correspondence to family members and friends during wartime chronicles world events through a personal lens. Letters become touch points for the living, recorded memories of past experiences, and a way to process loss and grief. In considering how to photograph images for an article about the written word, Steber “had to figure out how in one picture I could embody the story of this person and the letter and their experience and what they wrote about and what they went through.”

For this portrait of Masuda Mohamadi, Steber photographed her lying next to childhood photos of herself and her father. These images remind Masuda of peaceful times in Afghanistan. She was a child in 1979 when the family fled the Soviet invasion and settled in the United States. Masuda and her father returned…

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Love Sets Crazy Straight

Originally posted on Once Upon a Truth:

I mentioned that we are stuck on the crazy wheel and can’t seem to step off, right?

I wrote yesterday how I was finding some comfort in God’s immeasurable power. Later in the day I was informed that the sheriff had found the “crazy” who had taken my husband’s car for a little joy ride, used his credit card for personal purchases (conveniently left in the console by my ever so kind husband), and then spent the last three weeks introducing us to a whole new vocabulary by way of repeated phone calls.

Having been through this, we’re still curious: If someone claims that they are going to “F” you up, is that a colloquialism or threat of bodily harm? Yeah, we are still a little confused too.

One assumes that if they are a law-abiding citizen minding their own business and just stay on the up and up that they are not going…

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Throwing Up My MEssiness–My Messy Beautiful

Originally posted on BonneVivanteLife:

My MEssy BEautiful Carry On Warrior Glennon Doyle Melton

There are very few things I am good at. When I say “few,” I mean 5. I am a good baker. I am very good at yelling at my kids. I excel at injuring myself on a regular basis (traumatic brain injuries, staples in the head, motorcycle spills, and detached retinas to name a few). I’ve been told I’m frequently inappropriate even whilst sober, so I’m good at embarrassing myself and those around me.

My most useful talent though is that I’m a good writer. I can be poignant, I can be clever, I can be funny, I can even be modest. I finally pursued my passion of writing in 2011 after committing myself to a journey of living a life of loving kindness, compassion, authenticity and vulnerability. Of putting my shame and feelings of inadequacy down, of learning to be brave and scared simultaneously. Of doing hard things. Of…

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“My Golfball Goldfish Won’t Eat” and Other Goldfish Lover’s Dilemma…

Someone typed “my golfball goldfish won’t eat” and found his / her way to theloveculture.

I know the panic the goldfish lover must be feeling. I know the desperation of not knowing what to do and who to go to for help. As a last measure, J drove up to a clinic to see a vet about our goldfish. The doctor actually laughed at him when he said our goldfish was sick and needed meds.

It’s true most people rarely take goldfish seriously as a pet. They even joke that if one dies, just get another. They don’t realise that every goldfish is unique and irreplaceable. They are not only intelligent, sentient beings with good memories. They are super playful, lovable, and have a strong mind of their own. We got the idea of making swimming hoops by observing Patches’s way of playing with the tubings sticking out of his quarantine tub. He’d head-bang the tubes until it formed a circular loop, swim through it and make a round. By the time he’s back, the tubes would be back to its original position. He’d push at it again till it gives way and forms a circle, shoot right through it, then repeat, till he’s bored of it.

I’ve also observed my goldfish trying to communicate to me, using body language. After a while, though they can’t speak or bark or make any audible sounds, you can learn to ‘hear’ what they’re saying, simply by observing the way they’re being when they see you. They say A LOT.

The thing is, I met an amazing man last Friday. He is a retired army guy, and is now in the business of goldfish. He’s in it for the passion. He knows so much about goldfish and how to treat them when they’re sick. I wish I met him years ago. He might’ve been able to help me save my chubs. And the thing is, it’s never too late to start. I just got the idea of interviewing him and featuring him on my site. We can learn so much from him, and the wonderful thing is that he is willing to share what he knows, with us.

He taught me all about APACHE Goldfish last week. I didn’t know there were such a thing before this! “See this goldfish? It’s orange now, but two weeks ago, it was black!” Then he shows me a picture of how it looked like before. “Now see the lips? Looks black isn’t it? It means it’s beginning to change colour again. It’s slowly changing back to black. Then back to orange… this will happen throughout its lifetime.”

This solves the mystery! There are quite a few goldfish owners panicking in forums, wondering why their black goldfish had become a “common orange” colour. They’re guessing that maybe the goldfish didn’t get enough sunlight so the colour is “fading”. Or that something’s wrong with the food or water. If only they knew they have a magical APACHE in their hands and that it’s genetics! They’d freak out less and celebrate!

Anyways. I like this idea of interviewing the goldfish man and learning how to take better care of our goldfish. The fancy ones are able to live 9 – 12 years, and the wild ones are known to live up to 30 years. Let’s not allow our unintentional ignorance to cut short their wonderful years.

Let’s help each other take better care of our goldfish. If you’re a goldfish lover and you’ve got some questions to ask / tips to share, please leave a comment here below.

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Here are pictures of a goldfish I fell in love with, last week, at his shop. I call him PEPPPER, cos he has a speckle of freckles like pepper across his cheeks. Also, all my goldfish have names beginning with P. No reason why, it just started off that way and will stay that way, as a tradition, and just for fun. 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein. What are some major shifts you’re ready to make in 2014? 9 more months. Make it count.

We’re 3 months 8 days into 2014. The past few months have been nothing short of challenging, not only for the world, but for most of us.

There’s plenty of good, a lot of gains, but along with it, there are the not-so-good, the bad and the setbacks. It’s unavoidable. Or is it?

It’s true there are many things we can’t control. We can’t choose what happens to us or what people say and do. We definitely can’t control Life. But every step of the way, we can choose wisely for ourselves. We do have a role to play in steering our life in the direction we want to go.

But we don’t always make the best choices under the circumstances.

Yes, we’re human. We slip up, we mess up, we make mistakes. The important thing is, after acknowledging our responsibility in our mistakes, we can forgive but we must never forget. If we do, we’ll never learn.

Moving forward, let’s see what we can learn from the past 3 months and see how we can eliminate the things that detract from our 2014 Goals.

I’ve gotten myself into unfortunate situations that are totally out of character, when I drink too much. Even though this happens only once a year, all it takes is just ONCE to make a mistake you’ll regret a lifetime.

This is not what I want for myself.

Like I said in my previous post, even as I’m regaining clarity, I’m allowing the gravity of it all to bring me to its proper place. The point isn’t to put it all behind me. I want to face the truth of the reality, to fully learn from it.

I know I want to step up. I want to raise my standards. I want to develop goal-achieving rituals. I want to surround myself in growth-enhancing company. I want to value my time more. And most importantly for me, I want to do what I can, to maintain an Absolute Peak State Of Mind.

I want to take better care of me, so I can take better care of others. I want to be more responsible for me, so I can be more responsible for others. I want to be able to protect me, so I can protect others, too. 

It begins with me.

It begins with you.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein.

What are some major shifts you’re ready to make in 2014? We have 9 more months.

Let’s make it count.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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