Love, Choice, Responsibility by Leo Buscaglia

Felice Leonardo “Leo” Buscaglia PhD (March 31, 1924 – June 12, 1998), also known as “Dr. Love,” was an American author and motivational speaker, and a professor in the Department of Special Education at the University of Sourthern California.

While teaching at USC, Buscaglia was moved by a student’s suicide to contemplate human disconnectedness and the meaning of life, and began a non-credit class he called Love 1A. This became the basis for his first book, titled simply LOVE.” – Wikipedia

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

Significance

Originally posted on jesssmithwriting:

Recently I have acknowledged both my significance and my complete insignificance in the universe. It is the greatest paradox I have faced and come to understand. We spend our days running around in our own “zone.” We forget that all the while, everyone around us is doing the same thing. Reality is nothing but our personal perception. My reality is completely different than the next person’s. We can hear the same song, look at the same tree, read the same book, but we will not gather the same information from these things. We get so caught up in our own lives, assuming that that is “reality.” But it isn’t, it is just ours!

Without sounding like a complete hippy..the ocean is what has taught me this. A 5 minute walk takes me from downtown of a metropolis to standing on a beach, staring at a vast, beautiful body of water..a…

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“When there’s chaos, the calm one prevails.” – AT

“One cannot reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.” – Lao Tzu

Our world is in a state of crisis. It is nothing new. It is a constant thing. But each and every day, we can make a difference by choosing Awareness.

Being aware of our action and reaction to the crisis and conflicts in our inner world, can direct our contribution to our outer world.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Ghandhi

Last Thursday, a text and a call sent me into a fearful and panicked state, the twin triggers of anger and hate. In my state of distress, I turned to a friend I’ve come to respect on so many levels.

I value his approach to life, people and the little things. You can see how a person is with the bigger things, by observing the way they are with the seemingly insignificant, little things.

He is not perfect, but no one is. In some areas he admit he’s downright clueless, and apt to repeating the same painful experiences until he learns–but isn’t it the same with all of us?

With these things in mind, I looked to him for help.

He began by asking a series of questions to clarify a few things.

In my state of mind, there was no helping me. It was like trying to walk across a field planted with old explosive land mines.

Instead of fighting fire with fire, I am grateful he maintained his calm composure and fixed his eyes on the problem, never averting it to the person who is making him the problem now.

Even when I told him to forget it, he kept a steady gaze towards finding a solution instead of backing off and leaving me to my misery.

“…my dear friend, I just want you to assess the situation and know what kind of a person you are dealing with at the moment. 

Every word or action draws a reaction.

If shit happened, so be it, it’s about finding a solution now correct (?).

There are ways to solve a problem like this, just try to understand the nature of this aggressiveness, and maybe we’ll (find) the best solution together.

When there’s chaos, the calm one prevails.” – AT

internalpeaceAs we’re mindful of a world in crisis, let’s extend our mindfulness to the simple, little things.

“Every word or action draws a reaction.”

“When there’s chaos, the calm one prevails.”

Are we contributing a problem or a solution? Are we adding more fuel to fire and playing our parts as agents of fear and anger and hatred and war? Or are we making space for peace by working on our inner peace?

Let it begin with me.

Let it begin with you.

Let it begin with us. 

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

The Living Flame Of Love

 “…with time and practice, love can grow deeper in quality, as I say, and become more ardent. We have an example of this in the activity of fire:

Although the fire has penetrated the wood, transformed it, and united it with itself, yet as this fire grows hotter and continues to burn, so the wood becomes much more incandescent and inflamed, even to the point of flaring up and shooting out flames from itself.

It should be understood that the soul now speaking has reached this enkindled degree, and is so inwardly transformed in the fire of love and elevated by it that it is not merely united to this fire but produces within it a living flame. 

The soul feels this and speaks of it thus in these stanzas with intimate and delicate sweetness of love, burning in love’s flame…” – Fray Juan de la Cruz, on his poem, ‘The Living Flame of Love’.

What’s burning within you? Guard the Flame.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“…hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love…This attitude–that nothing is easier than to love–has continued to be the prevalent idea… in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.” – Erich Fromm

Originally posted on theloveculture:

“…hardly anyone thinks that there is anything that needs to be learned about love. This peculiar attitude is based on several premises which either singly or combined tend to uphold it.

Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.

Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths.

One, which is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful and rich as the social margin of one’s position permits.

Another, used especially by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one’s body, dress, etc.

Other ways of making oneself attractive, used both by men and women, are to develop pleasant manners, interesting conversation, to be helpful, modest, inoffensive.

Many of the ways to make oneself lovable…

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“Each person in your life is sent there for your benefit and to teach you a lesson.” – Mastin Kipp

Originally posted on theloveculture:

Love this post by Mastin Kipp: “If, for some strange reason, you have or still keep attracting lovers who only end up causing you pain, today’s words are for you.

Each person in your life is sent there for your benefit and to teach you a lesson. The lesson could be how to trust yourself. The lesson could be that you are loved. The lesson could be to heal a wound from your past, or perhaps, the lesson could be forgiveness.

Now, think about this. If someone is sent into your life to teach you forgiveness, how else could you learn the lesson of forgiveness than by being betrayed or let down by someone you care for deeply? Or, if the lesson is to teach you how to trust yourself, then how else could you learn except by getting into a relationship where you KNEW from the beginning that is…

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10 Steps… 50 Steps… 100 Steps… You’ll Get There.

Originally posted on theloveculture:

“A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu.

On the 14th of June, my cousins and I set off to climb Mount Kinabalu. We took the 9km Mesilau route to Laban Rata. It felt like a miracle when we finally saw our resthouse! From here, it’s approximately 2.5km up to the top of the mountain, which, ironically, is called “Low’s Peak.” We’ll begin our final ascend at 2am. So after dinner, we tried our best to catch some sleep.

Our journey up Mount Kinabalu had begun long before we even set foot at the base of the mountain. We’ve been training hard for this. Some, for months! So I liked how my friend put it, “You’re already halfway there!”

However, it’s a different story once you’re on location, looking up at one of the tallest mountains in South East Asia. Us first timers were freaking out. 

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Finish!

Originally posted on The Proverbs Group:

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My Projection of You Is A Reflection Of Me – I

“Where did you charge your phone?” – M

“There on the left.” – W

“Left where?” – M

“Near the custom. You will see it.” – W

We’ve been waiting for hours to board. All flights are delayed indefinitely. Our plane has been diverted to Sandakan to wait out the storm and crowds from later flights kept pouring in by the hour. There weren’t enough seats for everyone. Many sat in groups on the floor, many more remained standing, while others crowded into stores to kill time. With hardly any space to move, the rising level of noise and crying babies, everyone was getting restless.

delayed

Everyone, it seems, except me. I was quietly feeling good about myself. After making it to the top of Mount Kinabalu and back, I can do anything! I can totally handle this! For the first time, I am not annoyed at Air Asia or aggravated by the long wait. I am enjoying listening to other climbers swapping stories of their hike. I was even grateful that the delay had caused me to stray into a store and find a gem of a book by Paulo Coelho, ‘Like the Flowing River’, which I was now reading. I felt calm like a river!

By this time, my phone had died and I’d like to charge it. But I didn’t want to vacate my precious seat for nothing. So I’m staring at my cousin scrolling through her phone, fully charged. She had found the charge point. I wanted to know its exact location, but that was all the help I got.

“There on the left.”

“Near the custom. You will see it.”

What does she mean by ‘there on the left’? How am I supposed to see that hole in the wall in this crowd? Suddenly, many hours of perfect Zen gave way to instant irritation to the highest degree! It’s like Life wanted to show me, “So you think you’re so tough? Here, take this!” It was a test.

At that exact moment, these were my unspoken thoughts on rapid-fire, ‘Why can’t she talk properly? Why can’t she answer precisely? She gives poor direction! What’s wrong with her? She’s so damn lazy!’

My cousin continued scrolling through her phone in perfect calm, oblivious to my offended ego, which demanded an answer that instant.

But she did answer.

That was her answer. Why was I feeling so much anger, over such a small matter? When I asked that, I got myself an answer, in rapid-fire no less.

I realized I’m the one who is just sitting there, too afraid to move and find the charge point for myself, from fear of my own poor sense of direction!

Another cousin of mine had ventured out earlier to find a charge point. While she was charging her phone, W had gone off to find her, and in the process, discovered the charge point for herself. Nobody told them where it was. They found it on their own. Why couldn’t I do the same?

Who’s the lazy one now? Ooops! 

There’s no harm in asking for directions. But sometimes directions are just that. It directs you. It points you “THIS WAY” but the rest of the details is your adventure and up to you to discover for yourself.

I was too lazy to get off my seat and projected my laziness and poor directions on W. In truth, I feared my own tendencies of getting lost!

The first time I heard about the concept of Projection was from my friend Guillaume, in Berlin. As we were taking a walk, he shared, “We see the bad in others that we don’t want to see in ourselves… we project it out.”

At first, that radical idea struck me as bizarre! I’ve written about it here: Owning my Shadow / Taming my Dragon. After the initial shock, the truth of it began to reveal itself to me–and it’s still revealing itself till this day.

“Projection is a fascinating phenomenon they failed to teach most of us about in school. It is an involuntary transfer of our own unconscious behavior unto others, so it appears to us that these qualities actually exist in the other people.

When we have anxiety about our emotions or unacceptable parts of our personalities, we attribute these qualities—as a defence mechanism—to external objects and other people. When we have little tolerance for others, for example, we are likely to attribute the sense of our own inferiority to them.

Of course, there’s always a “hook” that invites our projection. Some imperfect quality in other people activates some aspect of ourselves that wants our attention. So whatever we don’t own about ourselves we project onto other people.

We see only that which we are.” – Debbie Ford, ‘The dark side of the light chasers’.

At the clear realization that I was projecting my own personal traits on my cousin, the hot flash of irritation vanished! I felt a little embarrassed for me of course. These kinds of awareness aren’t easy on the ego. But there was no more reason for anger, so I felt free and light as a feather!

I decided to leave my phone uncharged and happily continued reading instead. Perhaps I passed the test. Perhaps I really can endure anything after the climb up Kinabalu. BUT. My lesson for the day is far from over.

The hilarity of what ensues later must be shared in ‘My Projection Of You Is A Reflection Of Me – Part II. I’ll leave that post for another day.

For now, that’s all the humble pie story I’m sharing. Has anyone had a similar experience? What are your thoughts on Projection? Got anything to share? I’d like to hear it! Leave comments below! LET’S GROW… ;)

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

“…our universe was brought to life, that we may fall in love every time we open up our eyes.” – Sleeping At Last

“We are infinite as the universe we hold inside.

Infinity times infinity. Infinity times infinity times infinity. Infinity times infinity times infinity times infinity.

Let there be light, let there be light, let me be right…

The dust of dust.
We are the apple of God’s eye.
We are infinite as the universe we hold inside.

Let there be light, let there be light, let me be right.

With golden string
our universe was brought to life,
that we may fall in love
every time we open up our eyes.” – SUN, Sleeping At Last.

Love,

Mish.

****

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”- Swedish Proverb

The Love Culture on FB: https://www.facebook.com/theloveculture

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